Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe
Chapter 3 pt. 2 and Chapter 4
By Todd Wilson
Find a Real Partner
But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called, “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13
...and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25
“Every homeschooling mom needs to have a like-minded friend to help protect her against the lies of the enemy. By like-minded, I mean someone who homeschools for the same reasons.” p. 66
“If you don’t have a like-minded friend, then non like-minded relationships will reinforce the lies that you tend to believe. You will always be questioning your goals and methods.
“...if you have a friendship with a homeschooling mom who homeschools for the same reasons you do, you’ll be able to be with other non like-minded friends and stand tall.” pg. 67
“Once you have a like-minded friend make it your priority to be an encourager.” p. 69
“Your homeschooling friend is staring down 180 days of daily exhaustion, surrounded by pint-sized humans who need to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes, ask for a snack three times an hour, can’t remember what they learned the day before, and then throw-up in the middle of the floor.
Lies creep in and the enemy will win EXCEPT...
“Standing on the sidelines is a friend who through a note, a phone call, or over egg salad sandwiches reminds her desperate homeschooling friend, ‘YOU CAN DO IT!! Don’t believe the lies...YOU CAN DO IT!!!” p. 70
Questions to Discuss with Real Partner at first meeting:
1. Share why you started homeschooling.
2. Describe your method of homeschooling. (i.e., textbook, Charlotte Mason, unschooling, etc.)
3. What are some of your goals in homeschooling?
4. What has been your biggest joy and struggle in homeschooling?
5. Share the area in which it’s most difficult for you to be REAL (you don’t have to share all the dirt in this area on your first meeting).
6. How do you and your children get along?
7. What is your husband’s involvement with homeschooling?
8. What is the hardest part of a typical day of homeschooling for you?
9. What area would you like the most accountability?
10. Share one or two specific prayer requests that would help your homeschool and home) go smoother this week.
Chapter 4 Believe the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth
“The great thing about TRUTH is that it’s always TRUE. It doesn’t change over time, smear when it gets wet, or stretch when it’s pulled. It’s constant, unchanging, inflexible, and ageless.
You can boldly state, ‘If it’s true, then it’s true no matter how the circumstances change or fluctuate.’ The TRUTH serves as an anchor when homeschooling storms assault you.” p. 77
TRUTH # 1 You Are Not Alone
“...we have a whole population of godly wives and homeschooling moms who smile and laugh on the outside, but inside they’re walking around under the heavy burden of loneliness and isolation caused by a cunningly told lie.
“...say it to yourself right now...I am not alone. All the feelings of inadequacy, isolation, and failure I feel, other moms feel as well. They may hide it, but there are days when they feel like tossing in the towel, loading up their kids on the school bus, and joining the circus just like I do.” p. 79
See Romans 7: 15-25
TRUTH #2 God Gave Your Children Exactly the Mother They Needed
“If God wanted someone better than you to be your children’s mother, He would have done that. If you want someone smarter to teach your children, you can find someone. There is always someone smarter than you. BUT if you want someone better to teach your children, you will find no one.” p. 81
“One sure-fire way to fan the flames of the lie that says, ‘You’re not doing a good job,’ is to compare your weaknesses to another mom’s strengths. You set yourself up for a world of disappointment. Instead, be confident that God knew what He was doing when he made you and that your weaknesses and strengths are exactly the ones He wanted you to have.
Psalm 139:13-18; 2 Cor. 12:9-10
TRUTH #3 Your Children Will Become Exactly What God Created Them To Be.
“The seed of the man is in the child.” Marcia Washburn
“Think of your children as seeds. They will grow up and mature to be exactly what God wants them to be. If your son was created to be an engineer, he will become and engineer. If your daughter was created to be an organizer, she will grow up to be that.
“Your children will become exactly what God has created them to be, NOT because of your efforts, but IN SPITE of your efforts.
“This truth is so important to get because although you may be frustrating yourself...you’re probably also frustrating your see. Your seed may not verbalize this, but inside they begin to think, ‘Mom would like me better if I was more like a sunflower.” p. 88-89
“You are not responsible to make your child something they are not. You are only responsible to give them the tools to do what they were created to do, sharpening where you can, loving them unconditionally, and leaving a godly (REAL) example for them to follow.” p. 90
(see Psalm 78 for a great study on the role and affect of parents upon later generations)
Prayer:
“Dear God,
Please help me to love my children today...not for what they might become tomorrow or in the future. Help me to like them even if they never master a certain skill that I want them to master. Let me love them unconditionally, never withholding my love or approval from them based on their performance. Let me see the good in them and make me blind to their shortcomings. Forgive me because I know that I have been forgiven so much and yet I hold my children’s failures against them. Amen. “ p. 91
TRUTH #4 You Can’t Do It All
“Don’t set unrealistic expectations for your, your children, and those around you. Since you can’t realistically do it all, you need to determine what you can do and then be secure in that.
“Sit down with your husband to determine what’s important and what isn’t. Work on the important stuff and let the unimportant get squeezed out.”
Make lists of Essentials and Non-Essentials (see p. 96-97)
“I am NOT saying that...non-essentials are bad or that you shouldn’t include them in your home. I am saying that in a world of limited time, you have to pick and choose what you can and cannot do.” p. 98
*Different seasons produce different needs and priorities.
TRUTH #5 Those Perfect Homeschooling Families Are Not Real
“Believing the lie that their family is perfect or better than yours will cause you to go bonkers. It will rot your heart from the inside out and cause you to do things that will damage your relationship with your husband and your children.” p. 106
Gal. 5:5-7
TRUTH #6 You’re Doing a Great Job!
Read p. 106
1 Cor 9:23-27
Part 5: Outside Influences
List on p. 111
“Whatever it is that reinforces the lies, cut it out. Take no prisoners. No mercy. You can do it. And when you do, you will re-experience the joy of homeschooling and of being a mom and a wife. That’s what lie-busting truth leaves in its wake -- joy, freedom, and happiness.” p.113
Assignment this month:
1. Meet with your husband to discuss any issues the Lord has been working on in your heart during this study. Ask him for insights on how you can be more Real and in what ways you need to allow Truth to guide you.
2. Find a Real Partner by next month’s meeting. Try to meet /talk at least once (use the list provided in the notes if it’s helpful).
3. Begin praying for yourself, your children, your home, and your Real partner on a daily basis.
Prayer Requests:
