Trail of Prayers - Week 2

"Thou wilt make known to me the path of life; in They presence is fulness of joy; in they right hand there are pleasures forever."  Psalm 16:11

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Day 1 - Jan. 9

You will.  

You will make it known to me. And you will make it known to them. 

You will.  

I can rest in that. 

My hurriedness, my drive to control, to direct, to keep order - it's all a path to emptiness, destruction, futility, and regret.  

Life will not get better by me controlling it more.  That is not the path of life. 

Help me remember I am listening to You.  you know the thoughts and minds and hearts.  You have a right path.  You will make know the path of life. My work is to ask and follow. 

I don't have to be "good" at managing this home and life.  I don't need to prove anything. I don't need to meet a standard. 

I need to seek You and serve You.  

You.  My Great and Loving God.

I confess that the number of people and needs here overwhelms me. That when everything in me fights to take control, to run straight to my flesh. 

Help me. They are my work. They are my service.  

You will show me. 

Forgive me for living like You won't.  Forgive me for believing and acting as though I need to be God - You - each day.  Teach me to stop. To trust. To believe your promise...

"You will make known to me the path of life..."

...and in my learning, show my family that You will do the same for them. 

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Day 2 - Jan. 10

"the path of life..."

Cross references: 
Psalm 139:24  "...and lead me in the everlasting way..."

Matthew 7:14 "Fot the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it." 

Life.
Everlasting.
Few.

Is it presumptious for me to desire that the Many children you have born to us could ALL be counted among the Few that find the way to life? 

Maybe.  

But you have called me, like the widow before the judge, to plead their lives before You and cling to hope. 

Hope because You have reached into my unworthiness and let me find You. 

Hope becasue You are chipping away at my self-serving heart to learn the labors of prayer for their souls - and praying the power of your heart for Your people.

Hope because You have surrounded them with truth in countless ways - preaching, books, family worship, schooling, media; the seeds in their lives are abundant.

Hope because You surround them with people that know you, love You, speak life to them, pray for them. 

Statistically, no. My Many can't ALL be part of a Few.

Thank You that Your great work is for Your glory, not our own.  Rather than using statistics and numbers, You work in miracles and mysteries to shine forth Your complete holiness and Your worthiness to be exalted in every way. 

I will trust in that.

I will rest in being called to pray, hope, trust and live for Your own glory.

And I will spend my days believing that this is true for my Many as well.

Trail of Prayers: Week 1, 1 Chronicles 28: 9

Insert Photo of Verse

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Lord -- help me know You and serve You --

--and let this knowing and serving be with a whole heart and a willing mind.


Whole Heart = Same Mind (as Solomon's father, David)

See note on Philippians 3:12
   note: "becoming perfect" is related to "whole heart" - not sinless perfection - but a pressing on in maturity until the time of completion.

Willing Mind = Willing Soul

There is this two-fold call on Solomon that David is making: 

            Be like me. 
            Be yourself.

            Own my faith.
            Own your own faith.

            Mirror Me.
            Create your own.

            Same as me.
            Choose for yourself.

Amazing.

And what a charge.  As a parent, I totally get this. My heart aches for my children to know and love this God who has reached over every mountain and stin of sin in my life to love me, cleanse me, and make me His - and make Him mine.  

I want them to know this power, grace, mercy.  I want them to fully grasp their need for it - to know the brokenness that drives you to such a mighty savior. 

And I want them to know the unquenchable hunger, thirst and drive to serve in again and gain and again - even when there's Nothing Left. 

 Because, truly, there is Nothing Else.

I want my children to own that faith You've given to me. But, I want it to be Their Own. 

I want it to be what they know based on who they are. I want it to be what they have found from their own searching and hurting and failing and trying and receiving and knowing.  

I want for them to have their own willing and choosing and finding and knowing and serving. Not a reliance on me to convict and chide and press and coax. 

Their own willing mind - fully given to the Truth of your work in their own life - not simply my own. 

                   Same as Me.
                   Own Your Own. 

This dichotomy of parenting and discipleship - it mirrors You fully, Lord.  Jesus, you give the same call to us. Help me press on with a whole heart - striving for your same mind of knowing and serving while embracing and bending my will and mind so that this walk of faith you have given to me becomes my own - as unique as you have created and purposed my life to be. 

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Day 2 - Jan 5

"....know the God of your father, and serve Him with the same mind..."

This is a hard part of the verse for me.  It stings whenever I read it.  

You have not been the God of my father - or mother. Not truly. Not in the "David, a man after God's own heart" kind of way.  I can't use their "mind" for you as an example. 

That makes me sad. Sad because i feel lost and unsure what this "mind" and "whole heart" can look like. 

Also sad because they do not know you or serve you. And I've always felt burdened and responsible to change that. 

But I never have. 

Yet, You have stepped in to give other fatherly and motherly models to me.  Earthly ones and You, Yourself, Jesus. 

Help me to be grateful for these precious people and remember their example in my life.  

Help me also to let go of the burden.  It is not my work to "save" my own children.  It is certainly not my work to "save" my parents or any other person. 

It is all Your Work.

My work is knowing and serving You with a whole heart - same mind of those earthly examples, and You, Jesus. My work is to seek You - and find You. 

My work is to also pray and love my parents as they continue to seek You, trusting You will let them find You. 

Help me embrace and be fully immersed in my work so that You can be God and do Your Work.  

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Day 3, January 6

"...serve Him with a whole heart and a willing mind..."

Cross References: (edited by me)

1 Sam 12:2  "...but I am old and gray, and behold my sons are with you...I have walked before you from my youth even to this day."

1 Kings 8:61  "Let your heart therefore be wholly devoted to the Lord our God, to walk in His statutes and to keep His commandments, as at this day."  (note to self: read all of Solomon's prayer in chapter 8 for further study)

1 Chronicles 29:17-19  "...I, in the integrity of my heart, have willingly offered all these things...preserve this forever in the intentions of the heart of Thy people, and direct their heart to Thee; and give my son, Solomon, a perfect heart to keep Thy commandments, Thy testimonies and Thy statutes, and to do them all..."

The example of Samuel's life-long service to you, the powerful prayers of Solomon and David on behalf of your people - and his own son, the willingness of David to acknowledge the Lord and lay all before Him - His life's work...

Whole Hearts - Willing Minds

Samuel - serving from childhood until old and gray - acknowledging his sons are "with them" and not with himself - the irony of these father-son contrasts is not lost on me. 

Samuel watched his sons turn from the Lord - and himself- yet he served.  Their devotion to the Lord wasn't his motivation or proof he needed to press on. He knew the Lord and served Him with a whole heart. 

David's hope for his son - the attainment of that wouldn't even be seen by him - but that didn't alter his devotion to the work the Lord had given to him. 

Whole heart - Willing mind

Help me stop measuring the worth and value of serving you on the results of what happens around me.  Results are yours to give. Serving and seeking are mine.  

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Day 4 - January 7

"...for the Lord searches all hearts..."

1 Sam. 16:7  "...for God sees not as a man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

"...and understands every intent of the thoughts..."

Help, Lord.  Help me to remember that what I see - it's only an outward appearance.  I am unable to see the heart and know the intent of the thoughts in my children - or husband.

Forgive me for so often making assumptions regarding their actions and motives.  When I do that, it is rarely a helpful thing. 

Help me to trust you - that You are already searching their hearts, understanding their intentions. Help me wait on You, then to guide me in how to lead, direct, correct, and disciple them.  You know them. You love them. You want to work in their lives uniquely.  And part of that work is through me. 

And you love me.  You know me.  You desire to use me.  Therefore, I can trust you will show me how to best interact and guide my children - and help my husband.  

Keep me from doing this in my own "wisdom" and "strength".  Those are false crutches used by someone trying to still drag her own yoke of futility. 

Help me to keep learning humility so that I can live from the rest that comes from leaning into an all-knowing, fully-loving, all-powerful God.  

Help me step aside to be me so that you can be You.  

You = God
Me = Not. God.   

Roll with it...

April 4, 2013
Journal Entry

"Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him, and He will do it." Psalm 37:5

Literal: Roll you way upon the Lord

Batach: have confidenc, be bold, be secure, feel safe,
Derek: road, journey, path, manner, direction, habit, course of life, distance
Asa: accomplish, do make, produce attend to, put in order, bring about

What will He do? What is it? What is my way?

Cross references:

"Cast your burdens upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Psalm 55:22

Rolling...Casting...this action of pushing the issues - the way- the burdens away from oneself. Not just handing them over, but doing so with great effort. Effort fitting to the weight of the burden.

Literal: Cast what He has given you

See the PROVIDENCE!! This burden, this way that I take, it is what He has given. The one who assigned the task designed the challenge. He is there and can be trusted to bring the solution about for us and through us. He has the answer.

 

 

"Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:3

Again: Roll
Ma'seh: deed, labor, business, pursuit, enterprise, undertaking, achievement, product
Machashabah: thoughts, devices, plans, purposes, inventions

This verse has the feel of industry. A sense of work, production, efficiency, ingenuity. A sense of moving forward and leading rather than simply following a path. It has a sense of pro-activeness to it in contrast to the weight of the burdens and struggle of the previous verses.

 

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

Again: Casting; throw upon; place upon
Merimna: care; anxiety
Melo: to care about

You do this, Lord, because you care.

You plan this journey, you give us these burdens, you design these cares so that we would exert ourselves in such a way that we must push them back upon you with an amount of effort that causes us to recognize your great providence, power, and love for us; along with our desperate need for it.

Whether I am pressing forward on a steep, uphill path; winding along on an unmarked road; struggling to breathe under the weight of my duties; formulating a creative plan with hope and wonder; or fretting over the fear of the unknowns, I can roll these onto you.

You choose this for me because you care. You promise I will not be shaken. I can cast these unto you with boldness. Walk in confidence, feeling safe and secure, because this is your doing and you will establish and complete your plan.

My way is Your Way.  Lovingly designed and chosen by you to draw me closer than I was.

Thank You.

Desires of Your Heart

April 3, 2013
Journal Entry:

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

So many times I've read this and felt a tinge of embarrassment. It somehow feels selfish, like I am to pursue you, Lord, to get what I want. I don't want to think of you as a big Santa in the Sky.

Cross references:

 

"You have given him his heart's desire and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah" Psalm 21:2

 

What did the king receive?

v. 1 strength, salvation

v. 3 the blessings of good things, a crown of gold (kingship/position)

v. 4 length of days

v. 5 splendor and majesty

 

What did the king request of the Lord?

v. 4  Life

 

Of all the things you gave the king, the one thing requested was Life. The desire of his heart was Life.

 

Lord, this is my heart's desire. I praise you for the overwhelming gift of salvation - a new life of walking with you and being welomed into your presence through the work of Jesus Christ.  Lord, would you work in my heart that this gift of life would be full and alive within me? Lord, the power of spring - the glory of the ground and trees bursting forth - that is the life I long for in my life - Energy. Joy. Power.

 

"He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. " Psalm 145:19

 

 - a sense of salvation in the context; being rescued and helped in a time of trouble; Safety was the heart's desire

 

"  '(keep asking), and it will be given to you; (keep seeking), and you will find; (keep knocking), and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! ' " Matthew 7:7-8; 11

 

PROMISE!! 

 

There is a command and there is a promise. There is love in the these gifts, based up on the requests of a child. A child asks for what they simply desire - maybe not even knowing if it is best for them.  You will give what is good. Yet, you instruct and command: Keep Asking...Keep Seeking...Keep Knocking. You want us to Keep Pursuing You.

 

I am not that kind of parent.

 

My brain is adverse to those who continuously persist with their requests. Change my brain! Teach me to pursue you hard and not give up. Teach me to delight in repeatedly coming to you...asking...seeking...knocking...

 

Let me never give up laying my heart's desires before you, that they would be continually shaped and fulfilled by your good measures.

"God's word must be the guide of your desires, and the ground of your expectations in prayer;" - Matthew Henry, The Secret of Communion with God

 



Living a Parallel Life

Mom’s Voice in the Wilderness

Hearts for Home

September 18, 2012

Read Matthew 3:1-12

John the Baptist and the homeschooling mom: Parallel Lives ;-)

John’s Occupation
>Preacher & Preparer v. 1
Mom’s Occupation
>Preacher & Preparer
2 Timothy 4:2-5 "I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.  As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry."

John’s Location
>The wilderness v. 3
Mom’s Location
>Socially, culturally, financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically isolated

John’s Attention to Self
>animal skins, locusts, wild food v.4
Mom’s Attention to Self
>varies, but often overlooked

John’s Audience
>Disciples God sent, pharisees, saducees
Mom’s Audience
>Disciples God has sent, onlookers, those sitting in judgement

John’s Message/Mom’s Message
>Repent! The Kingdom is at hand v. 2
>Repent! Bear fruit v. 8, 10
>Repent! You cannot rely on your heritage v. 9
>Repent! I am preparing you for work of Jesus in your life v. 11
>Repent! Christ will sift us to find His own v. 12

Journal entry:
John was working with his disciples-drawing them to repentance and, then, to a life lived out that showed that repentance. He cautioned them that they cannot say they are relying on their lineage for their security of salvation. He revealed that his efforts to bring them to repentance was only preparing them for Christ and His mighty work in their lives. He warned them that God is at work to gather and clear out His threshing floor.

Here am I. I am called to be as John the Baptist in my children’s lives. My role is to guide them to a life of repentance by helping them to recognize their own sin and the consequences of it. I am to lead them to repentance and the fruit that results. As I lead them in this, I am joining the Lord in His work to prepare them for the great work He will do within them. They cannot rely upon my faith or their father’s. They will be sifted as we have been. Lord, let them be found in You!

God’s Word: The Method of our Message of Repentance
(taken from Teach Them Diligently by Lou Priolo)

“Conviction flows out of teaching (the scriptures) because teaching (the scriptures) makes people aware of what God requires.” p. 27

“There are times when conviction and teaching go hand in hand. So we must not think of them as mutually exclusive. In order to produce conviction, one may have to teach new material or reteach in new ways what the child has heard but has not yet converted from theory to practice. The parent may need to further clarify biblical truth and how it applies to the particulars of his child’s situation. The Bible requires the parent to learn skills in order to bring about conviction.” p. 27

“Bringing conviction, therefore, is a part of the responsibility of the ministry of the Word. Since, as we have seen, one of the most important tasks as parents is to minister the Word to your children, using the Scriptures to bring about conviction in their hearts is a part of your responsibility. You must learn how to effectively use the Word to appeal to the conciences of your little lawbreakers. “ p. 30

“No process of change [or philosophy of parenting] that ignores a child’s relationship to God can succeed nomatter what gimmicks are used to get what the child wants. When a parent attempts to change a child’s behavior without first seeking change in his relationship with God, the result is merely outward, pharisaical behavior, just as displeasing to God as the original selfish behavior.” p. 31

*Note: Ultimately, it is God (not man) who is sovereign over the conviction process. We are dependent up on God the Spirit to use the Word and any other means He chooses to convict us (or others) of anything. p. 31

Let us then KNOW our message that we are called and commanded to preach. Let us pray for one another as well as spur one another on in His word so that we may be found faithful servants of the Lord Jesus in this coming year and for eternity. God has so chosen to place us in each others lives for such a time as this. May we learn together, pray together, weep together, rejoice together, and love together lives of such victory that the generations to follow will have strong and clear footsteps to follow.

James

"13Who among you is wise and understanding ? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."  James 3:13-18

Matthew Henry-
 And then, lastly, true wisdom will go on to sow the fruits of righteousness in peace, and thus, if it may be, to make peace in the world, v. 18. And that which is sown in peace will produce a harvest of joys. Let others reap the fruits of contentions, and all the advantages they can propose to themselves by them; but let us go on peaceably to sow the seeds of righteousness, and we may depend upon it our labour will not be lost. For light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart; and the work of righteousness shall be peace, and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

Bearing Down

"Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:5-8 NAS

Definitions & References:

applying: (KJV "giving") to bear into, beside; pereisphero. This is the only place this word is used in the New Testament.

diligence: haste, speed; spoude. Rom. 12:8, Heb. 6:11, Jude 3

supply: (KJV "add") to furnish abundantly; epichoregeo. This is the only place this word is used in the New Testament.

moral excellence: (KJV "virtue") force, strength (of mind or body); arete. Phil. 4:8, 2 Pet. 1:3

knowledge: gnosis; many references. 1 Cor. 1:5 - "enriched in all knowledge (note: we have all the knowledge we need - it is sufficiently supplied - we have only to attain it.)

self-control: (KJV "temperance") self-restraint, continence; egkrateia. Acts 24:25, Gal. 5:23

perseverance: (KJV patience) endurance, continuance; hupomone. Many references

godliness: piety, reverance; eusebia. Many references, especially in 1 Timothy
     piety: obedient love of the will of God and zealous devotion to His service

brotherly kindness: love; philadelphia. Rom. 12:10, 1 Thes. 4:9, Heb. 13:1, 2 Pet. 1:7

love: (KJV "charity") agape. Many references.

useless: (KJV "barren") not working; argos. This is the only verse using this word in the New Testament

unfruitful: without fruit; akarpos. Matt. 13:12, Mk 4:19, 1 Cor. 14:14, Eph. 5:11, Titus 3:14

Taking these definitions into account, here are some excerpts from my journal giving my "full color" understanding of these verses.

Because I have these amazing promises of God that have made me a part of who He is, I have to bear down urgently - giving all of my strength to hasten an abundant supply of force and strength of my mind and body. This abundance of strength will lead to disciplines that bring knowledge of the truths that have been sufficiently given to me in Christ. This strength will develop self-restraint, which flows from the knowledge of Christ. This self-control strengthens my perseverance - enables me to endure and continue on because I turn away from those things that feed my flesh.

My perseverance produces godliness - which is piety- an obedient love of the will of God and zealous devotion to His service. Perseverance produces REAL love - actively loving through obedience and devotion. This devotion - this active love - pours out as brotherly kindness and love - Philadelphia!

The quest of learning to love as Christ loves produces fruit resulting from bearing down into the prior exercises of my faith.

When I think of this bearing down, I, of course, think of childbirth. The exhausting work of bringing forth the amazing gift the Lord has created for me to enjoy. My body will do this work - I have no choice - the gift will come. I can fear it or embrace and join the work my body is doing. When I join in, my labor is effective, accomplishing what my body is created to do.

In this same way, the Spirit of God is at work in me, laboring to accomplish God's purpose, bringing forth His good gifts. When I join Him in this work, when I bear down into this labor, there is so much I gain, leading to the reward. I gain strength of my mind and body. I gain the knowledge of God. I gain self-control, enabling me to endure and press on. I gain a beautiful understanding of and ability to actively love my Lord, thereby bringing forth the gift of brotherly love that is the true mark of a follower or Christ. Just as birthing a baby ushers me into Motherhood, true, active, serving, Christ-love ushers me in to the Brotherhood of Believers.

This is a beautiful analogy. Labor begins and increases in intensity. These qualities must also increase as my efforts increase. As I progress in this labor, as I join the work the Spirit is doing, I bear fruit. I bring forth the gifts of God. I am not barren. I am working efficiently, as God created me to do. I bring forth the amazing gifts - fruit - that the Lord has created for me to enjoy and share.

Beautiful, Lord! Thank you for this. Not only does it give me a uniqe perspective on your work in my life, I find a new appreciation and gratitude for the physical process of childbirth. As you know, I have struggled to embrace and treasure that call on my life as I should.

"For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand, who says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13

Tenderhearted

"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you."  Ephesians 4:1-3, 32

Dictionary:
adjective; soft-hearted, sympathetic; having a compassionate, kindly, or sensitive disposition

Thesaurus:
Main Entry: tenderhearted
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: tender
Synonyms: affectionate, all heart, benevolent, bleeding heart, caring, charitable, compassionate, considerate, emotional, forgiving, gentle, humane, kind, kindhearted, lenient, loving, merciful, mushy, sensitive, sentimental, soft, softhearted, sweet, sympathetic, thoughtful, understanding, warm, warmhearted

John Gill:
Ephesians 4:32
"And be ye kind one to another
Good, affable, courteous; which appears in looks, words, and actions; by looking pleasantly on each other, speaking kindly to one another, and mutually doing every good office that lies in their way, and in their power:

tender hearted:
which is opposed to a being hard hearted to them that are in distress, and close at hand to the needy; to cruelty and severity to such who are subject to them, or have injured them; and to a rigid and censorious spirit to them that are fallen:

forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you;
whatever offences are given, or injuries done by the saints one to another, and so far as they are committed against them, they should forgive, and should pray to God for one another, that he would manifest his forgiveness of them, as committed against him; and this should be done in like manner as God forgives in Christ, and for his sake; that is, fully and freely, and from their hearts; and so as to forget the offences, and not to upbraid them with them hereafter; yea, they should forgive them before they repent, and without asking for it, and that for Christ's sake, and because they are members of his: the Complutensian edition reads, "even as Christ hath forgiven us": the Arabic version also reads us, and so some copies: the words may be rendered, "giving freely to one another, even as God in Christ has given freely to you"; saints should give freely to one another, for outward support, where it is needful; and should impart spiritual gifts and experience for inward comfort, where it is wanted, and as they have ability; and that from this consideration, that all they have, whether in temporals or spirituals, is freely given by God in Christ, and for his sake; with whom he freely gives them all things; in whom he has given them grace, and blessed them with all spiritual blessings; as peace, pardon, righteousness, and eternal life."

Matthew Henry:
"Tender-hearted; that is, merciful, and having tender sense of the distresses and sufferings of others, so as to be quickly moved to compassion and pity. Forgiving one another. Occasions of difference will happen among Christ’s disciples; and therefore they must be placable, and ready to forgive, therein resembling God himself, who for Christ’s sake hath forgiven them, and that more than they can forgive one another. Note, With God there is forgiveness; and he forgives sin for the sake of Jesus Christ, and on account of that atonement which he has made to divine justice. Note again, Those who are forgiven of God should be of a forgiving spirit, and should forgive even as God forgives, sincerely and heartily, readily and cheerfully, universally and for ever, upon the sinner’s sincere repentance, as remembering that they pray, Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."

The Man Will Not Rest

Lord, I am so confused. This matter continues to weigh so heavy on my heart. I am reminded of your call for humility in this. I admit, it is too easy for me to walk in pride. My self-pity rises up and takes charge before I even recognize it. Forgive me.

I am still dumbfounded. I am hurt. I am angry. I am anxious. I am unsteady. I come to you, begging you to show me how to act, think and feel. I cannot trust my own emotions or thinking. I need you to renew my mind, that I may receive these matters in a manner that reflects your strength and peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruth 3:18 "Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day."

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"She had done all that was fit for her to do, and now she must patiently wait the issue and not be perplexed about it. Let us learn hence to cast our care upon providence, to follow that and attend the motions of it, composing ourselves into an expectation of the event, with a resolution to acquiesce in it, whatever it be. Sometimes that proves best done for us that is least our own doing. "Sit still, therefore, and see how the matter will fall, and say, Let it fall how it will, I am ready for it.’’ 2. She assured her that Boaz, having undertaken this matter, would approve himself a faithful careful friend: He will not be at rest till he have finished the matter. Though it was a busy time with him in his fields and his floor, yet, having undertaken to serve his friend, he would not neglect the business. Naomi believes that Ruth has won his heart, and that therefore he will not be easy till he knows whether she be his or no. This she gives as a reason why Ruth should sit still and not perplex herself about it, that Boaz had undertaken it, and he would be sure to manage it well. Much more reason have good Christians to be careful for nothing, but cast their care on God, because he has promised to care for them: and what need have we to care if he do? Sit still, and see how the matter will fall, for the Lord will perfect that which concerns thee, and will make it to work for good to thee, Ps. 37:4, 5; 138:8. Your strength is to sit still, Isa. 30:7." Matthew Henry

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Psalm 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."

Lord, the only desire I have is to honor you in this. I desire to know you better, to lead others closer to you, to be found faithful, walking in Your strength when the matter is finished. I desire to speak, act and think in your peace regarding these things. I long to be free of any bitterness that threatens to take root.

Psalm 138:8 "The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands."

Lord, your promise says you are at work in this. You are perfecting this imperfect matter. You are completing this unfinished busineess. Your mercy to me, an undeserving fool, continues to endure. I am the work of your hands, your own hands. Your promise is that you do not forsake me. Because of your great mercy, I am not forsaken.

Isaiah 30:7 "For the Egyptians shall help in vain, and to no purpose: therefore have I cried concerning this, Their strength is to sit still."

There is no other source of strength but you. You ARE at work in this. YOU are at work in this. I must sit still. As Ruth was counselled, so am I. "The man will not sit still until he hath finished the thing..."  Any and all work I would attempt to do would only distract my thinking, deter my peace, and put my self in the place of worship. Forbid my heart to do this, Lord!

Psalm 46:10-11 "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah."

I will be still. I will remain quiet. I will rest in humility, know you are truly God and I am not. You are at work, not resting in this matter. I am your servant, waiting on you. By that, I am strong and by that YOU are exalted among the earth. You are with me, Lord. When this rest feels to heavy to bear, I will remember you are my refuge. You are my strong tower. I am safe in you.

Studying Quietness

Definition:
–adjective

-restrained in speech, manner, free from disturbance or tumult; tranquil; peaceful; being at rest; refraining  from activity; 
-making no disturbance or trouble; not turbulent; peaceable; 
-free from disturbing thoughts, emotions,
-said, expressed, done, etc., in a restrained or unobtrusive way: a quiet reproach; a quiet admonition.
-not showy or obtrusive; subdued
-Free of turmoil and agitation; untroubled. 
-Restful; soothing; Tranquil; serene
-Not showy or garish; subdued; Restrained in style; understated: a quiet strength; a quiet life.

Hebrew: shaw-kat'
Verb

Definition: to be quiet, be tranquil, be at peace, be quiet, rest, lie still, be undisturbed; to show quietness; to cause quietness, pacify, allay
King James Word Usage - Total: 41
rest 16, quiet 16, quietness 4, still 2, appeaseth 1, idleness 1, settled 1

Joshua 11:23, Joshua 14:15  "...the land rested from war."
Judges. Kings, Chronicles "...the land had rest" (from enemies)

Ruth 3:18 "Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day."

Job 34:29 "When he giveth quietness, who then can make trouble? and when he hideth his face, who then can behold him? whether it be done against a nation, or against a man only:"

Job 37:17 "How thy garments are warm, when he quieteth the earth by the south wind?" (brings warmth, comfort)

Proverbs 15:18 "A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife."
A wrathful man stirreth up strife:

"A man of a wrathful disposition, of a furious spirit, of an angry temper; that is under the power and dominion of such a passion, and indulges it, and takes all opportunities to gratify it; he stirs up strife and contention where there was none, or where it was laid; as a man stirs up coals of fire and raises a flame; see ( Proverbs 26:21 ) . He stirs up strife in families, sets one relation against another, and the house in an uproar; he stirs up contentions in neighbourhoods, and sets one friend and neighbour against another, whence proceed quarrels and lawsuits: he stirs up strife in churches, breaks brotherly love, and causes animosities and divisions; he stirs up strife in kingdoms and states, whence come wars and fightings, confusion, and every evil work;
but [he that is] slow to anger appeaseth strife:
a man of a quiet and peaceable disposition, possessed of the true grace of charity; who is not easily provoked, longsuffering, bears and endures all things; he allays the heat of anger; he quenches the coals of contention; he calms the storm and makes it quiet, as the word signifies; he
``mitigates strifes raised,''
as the Vulgate Latin version renders it; he composes differences, reconciles the parties at variance, and makes all hush and still; and so prevents the ill consequences of contention and strife." John Gill

"Meekness the great peace-maker: He that is slow to anger not only prevents strife, that it be not kindled, but appeases it if it be already kindled, brings water to the flame, unites those again that have fallen out, and by gentle methods brings them to mutual concessions for peace-sake."  Matthew Henry

Isaiah 7:4 "And say unto him, Take heed , and be quiet ; fear not, neither be fainthearted for the two tails of these smoking firebrands, for the fierce anger of Rezin with Syria, and of the son of Remaliah."

Isaiah 14:7 "The whole earth is at rest, and is quiet: they break forth into singing." (rest from captivity, persecution)

Isaiah 30:15 "For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not."
-in returning to the truth of God's word, aligning my life to His standard; the people of Israel would not do this, I pray, Lord, you would cause me and strengthen me to do so.

Isaiah 32:17 "And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever."

Peace and quietness, v. 17 "The peace here promised is of two kinds:—[1.] Inward peace, v. 17. This follows upon the indwelling of righteousness, v. 16. Those in whom that work is wrought shall experience this blessed product of it. It is itself peace, and the effect of it is quietness and assurance for ever, that is, a holy serenity and security of mind, by which the soul enjoys itself and enjoys its God, and it is not in the power of this world to disturb it in those enjoyments. Note, Peace, and quietness, and everlasting assurance may be expected, and shall be found, in the way and work of righteousness. True satisfaction is to be had only in true religion, and there it is to be had without fail. Those are the quiet and peaceable lives that are spent in all godliness and honesty, 1 Tim. 2:2. First, Even the work of righteousness shall be peace. In the doing of our duty we shall find abundance of true pleasure, a present great reward of obedience in obedience. Though the work of righteousness may be toilsome and costly, and expose us to contempt, yet it is peace, such peace as is sufficient to bear our charges. Secondly, The effect of righteousness shall be quietness and assurance, not only to the end of time, of our time, and in the end, but to the endless ages of eternity. Real holiness is real happiness now and shall be perfect happiness, that is, perfect holiness, for ever." Matthew Henry

Greek: Hesuchios
Adjective
Definition: quiet, tranquil, peaceable

1 Timothy 2:2
For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.

1 Peter 3:4
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

to be continued..................

Studying Meekness

Meek
 –adjective,

1. humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others.
2. overly submissive or compliant; spiritless; tame.
3. Obsolete . gentle; kind.

Hebrew:
`anav
Definition

poor, humble, afflicted, needy, weak and afflicted,,humble, lowly, meek


Numbers 12:3 "(Now the man Moses was very meek , above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.)"
"When God’s honour was concerned, as in the case of the golden calf, no man more zealous than Moses; but, when his own honour was touched, no man more meek: as bold as a lion in the cause of God, but as mild as a lamb in his own cause. God’s people are the meek of the earth (Zep. 2:3), but some are more remarkable than others for this grace, as Moses, who was thus fitted for the work he was called to, which required all the meekness he had and sometimes more. And sometimes the unkindness of our friends is a greater trial of our meekness than the malice of our enemies. Christ himself records his own meekness (Mt. 11:29, I am meek and lowly in heart ), and the copy of meekness which Christ has set was without a blot, but that of Moses was not."  - Matthew Henry

Psalm 10:17 "LORD, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear :"

Psalm 22:26 "The meek shall eat and be satisfied : they shall praise the LORD that seek him: your heart shall live for ever."

Psalm 25:9 "The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way."

Psalm 37:7-11 "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass . 8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil . 9 For evildoers shall be cut off : but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth. 10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be. 11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace..."

Psalm 147:3-11 "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. 4 He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by their names. 5 Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite. 6 The LORD lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground. 7 Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God: 8 Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains. 9 He giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which cry . 10 He delighteth not in the strength of the horse: he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man. 11 The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy."

Psalm 149:4 "For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation."
"He will beautify the meek, the humble, and lowly, and contrite in heart, that tremble at his word and submit to it, that are patient under their afflictions and show all meekness towards all men. These men vilify and asperse, but God will justify them, and wipe off their reproach; nay, he will beautify them; they shall appear not only clear, but comely, before all the world, with the comeliness that he puts upon them. He will beautify them with salvation, with temporal salvations (when God works remarkable deliverances for his people those that had been among the pots become as the wings of a dove covered with silver, Ps. 68:13), but especially with eternal salvation. The righteous shall be beautified in that day when they shine forth as the sun. In the hopes of this, let them now, in the darkest day, sing a new song."  - Matthew Henry

he will beautify the meek with salvation;

"humble and lowly souls, who have been truly humbled under a sense of sin; brought to submit to the righteousness of Christ, and to depend upon the grace of God for salvation; are subject to the yoke of Christ, and patiently submit to the will of God under every dispensation of Providence; are not easily provoked to wrath; are free from envy and malice; have mean thoughts of themselves, and high ones of other saints; these the Lord beautifies now with more grace, with which salvation is connected; with the robe of Christ's righteousness, and the garments of his salvation, which are beautiful ones; and he will beautify them with eternal salvation, with the white robes of immortality and bliss, when they will shine as the sun in the kingdom of heaven." - John Gill

Proverbs 3:34 "Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly..."

Surely he scorneth the scorners

"That make a mock at sin, a jest of religion, that scoff at the doctrines of the Gospel and the professors of it; these the Lord looks upon, laughs at, and has them in derision. The Greek version and two apostles render it, "he resisteth the proud", ( 1 Peter 5:5 ) ( James 4:6 ) . Such who are haughty and arrogant, that exalt themselves and despise others; as those of a pharisaical spirit are and do, are abhorred and despised by the Lord; he sets himself against them, is their enemy, "and scatters [them] in the imagination of their hearts", ( Luke 1:51 )
but he giveth grace unto the lowly;

or humble souls; such who are made truly sensible of sin, and lie low in their own sight on account of it; who, sensible of the imperfection and insufficiency of their own righteousness, submit to the righteousness of Christ; ascribe their salvation, and all the blessings of it, to the free grace of God; own the deficiency of their duties, and disclaim all merit in them; think the worst of themselves, and the best of others; and humble themselves under the mighty hand of God, and are patient under every adverse dispensation of Providence; knowing what their deserts are, how undeserving of any favour, and how deserving of the divine displeasure. Now God first gives grace to these persons to make them thus humble and lowly which they are not naturally, and then he gives them more grace, according to his promise;"- John Gill

Proverbs 14:21 "He that despiseth his neighbour sinneth : but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he."
 - If I despise even the weaknesses or lack of maturity or character in my neighbor (children), I sin. I need to strive for mercy to those who are poor in these things...or humble...or brought low by these things. My goal for myself should be mercy. My goal in training to is bring about humility as well.

Proverbs 16:19 "Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud."
"Humility, though it should expose us to contempt in the world, yet while it recommends us to the favour of God, qualifies us for his gracious visits, prepares us for his glory, secures us from many temptations, and preserves the quiet and repose of our own souls, is much better than that high-spiritedness which, though it carry away the honour and wealth of the world, makes God a man’s enemy and the devil his master." -Matthew Henry

Isaiah 29:19 "The meek also shall increase their joy in the LORD, and the poor among men shall rejoice in the Holy One of Israel."

Zephaniah 2:3 "Seek ye the LORD, all ye meek of the earth, which have wrought his judgment; seek righteousness, seek meekness: it may be ye shall be hid in the day of the LORD'S anger."


Greek:
Praus
Definition: mildness of disposition, gentleness of spirit, meekness
Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting. In the OT, the meek are those wholly relying on God rather than their own strength to defend them against injustice. Thus, meekness toward evil people means knowing God is permitting the injuries they inflict, that He is using them to purify His elect, and that He will deliver His elect in His time.

Matthew 5:5 "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth."
Blessed are the meek:

"Who are not easily provoked to anger; who patiently bear, and put up with injuries and affronts; carry themselves courteously, and affably to all; have the meanest thoughts of themselves, and the best of others; do not envy the gifts and graces of other men; are willing to be instructed and admonished, by the meanest of the saints; quietly submit to the will of God, in adverse dispensations of providence; and ascribe all they have, and are, to the grace of God. Meekness, or humility, is very valuable and commendable." John Gill
Blessed are the meek.:
"The meek are those who quietly submit themselves to God, to his word and to his rod, who follow his directions, and comply with his designs, and are gentle towards all men (Tit. 3:2); who can bear provocation without being inflamed by it; are either silent, or return a soft answer; and who can show their displeasure when there is occasion for it, without being transported into any indecencies; who can be cool when others are hot; and in their patience keep possession of their own souls, when they can scarcely keep possession of any thing else. They are the meek, who are rarely and hardly provoked, but quickly and easily pacified; and who would rather forgive twenty injuries than revenge one, having the rule of their own spirits.These meek ones are here represented as happy, even in this world. 1. They are blessed, for they are like the blessed Jesus, in that wherein particularly they are to learn of him, ch. 11:29. They are like the blessed God himself, who is Lord of his anger, and in whom fury is not. They are blessed, for they have the most comfortable, undisturbed enjoyment of themselves, their friends, their God; they are fit for any relation, and condition, any company; fit to live, and fit to die." -Matthew Henry

Happy are the meek - "They that hold all their passions and affections evenly balanced."
They shall inherit the earth - They shall have all things really necessary for life and godliness.They shall enjoy whatever portion God hath given them here, and shall hereafter possess the new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness." -John Wesley

1 Peter 3:4 "But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

"More especially, the finest ornament of Christian women is a meek and quiet spirit, a tractable easy temper of mind, void of passion, pride, and immoderate anger, discovering itself in a quiet obliging behaviour towards their husbands and families. If the husband (or child - *my thoughts*) be harsh, and averse to religion (which was the case of these good wives to whom the apostle gives this direction), there is no way so likely to win him as a prudent meek behaviour. At least, a quiet spirit will make a good woman easy to herself, which, being visible to others, becomes an amiable ornament to a person in the eyes of the world. Thirdly, The excellency of it. Meekness and calmness of spirit are, in the sight of God, of great price-amiable in the sight of men, and precious in the sight of God. Learn, 1. A true Christian’s chief care lies in the right ordering and commanding of his own spirit. Where the hypocrite’s work ends, there the true Christian’s work begins. 2. The endowments of the inner man are the chief ornaments of a Christian; but especially a composed, calm, and quiet spirit, renders either man or woman beautiful and lovely.

to be continued...

Was it Just a Month Ago?

I've been taking this resting time after Baby's birth to reflect on how the Lord has been working in our lives. As I look through my journal, it is amazing to me that only a month has passed in this journey. So much of my thoughts, emotions and heart has been tied up in these lessons the Lord has been teaching me through this pregnancy and it's challenges. I'm afraid a huge part of me has retreated from the other areas of my life that needed attention. Yet, I could not find it in me to see beyond the trees of this forest I was in.  I confess, that the issues we dealt with seem miniscule compared to many challenges we could have faced.  Yet, in the midst of my fears, the Lord was patient and kind.
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Journal entry:
March 16, 2010
Today is my 3 hour glucose test. I am so relieved, and yet anxious at the same time. Father, I have not been walking in faith through this. I have been carrying fear, anxiety, confusion, frustration - so many stressful emotions. So many thoughts and actions that have drawn me away from you. How much have I even prayed about this? I say I just want answers - to know what to do - yet, I haven't truly asked You. I am looking for human wisdom for something that has no clear answer. These tests, these issues - even the medical community disagrees. Lord, You are creating this child. You know exactly what this baby needs to grow. You know where we need to be to keep Baby healthy and safe.

You also know our fears. You know the obstacles we face in having a hospital birth. You know our financial needs. You know how impossible that path looks to us.  These words have brought me back to my senses.

"But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you and keep you from evil." 1 Thes. 3:3

How I need these words of comfort and hope. Truly, my mind sees the hospital and it's methods as "evil". I fear their judgement on me. I fear their intrusions and being forced into decisions and treatments. I fear the division that it all can cause between David and myself. Please, stablish me. You are faithful. I have not been faithful here. I have not turned to You. I've asked others to pray, yet I have not.

"So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure." 1 Thes. 1:4

I have not been patient. I have not had faith. I have given up even wanting to endure. Forgive me, Lord! Forgive me for pursuing man's wisdom and knowledge above Your own. Forgive me for giving up on Your faithfulness to me. You have not left me. You have not given up on me. You will not. You will stablish me and keep me from evil. Help me walk with you and receive your work in my life today.

Stablish (sterizo) - to make stable, place firmly, set fast, fix to strengthen, make firm, to render constant, comfirm one's mind. Strengthen, steadfastly set.

Your promise is to make me stable, place me firmly in the right way. To strengthen me, to confirm my mind. You will give me the confidence to follow You.

Keep (phullasso) - to guard; to watch; guard to keep me safe lest I suffer violence, be despoiled; to protect; to keep from being snatchd away, preserve safe and unimpaired; to guard from being lost or perishing.

From - Separation

Evil (poneros) - full of labors, annoyances, hardships; pressed and harrassed by labors; bringing toils, annoyances, perils: of a time full of peril to christian faith and steadfastness; causing pain and trouble; in a physical sense: diseased or blind; in an ethical sense: evil, wicked, bad.

You will make me stable and firm by your protection over me. Through this, You will separate me from the annoyances, toils, labors, hardships, blindness and disease around me. I will and am in the midst of these evils, yet You keep me separate from it.
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That day I failed the test. Yet, I gained new hope and confidence in the Lord's purpose and promise to carry me through and accomplish His plan.

Glorify Thy Name!

"I will praise thee, O Lord, among the people:
I will sing unto thee among the nations. 

 For thy mercy is great unto the heavens,
and thy truth unto the clouds.

 Be thou exalted , O God, above the heavens:
let thy glory be above all the earth. "

Psalm 57:9-11

Matthew Henry writes:
"God’s mercy and truth reach to the heavens, for they will bring all such to heaven as lay up their treasure in them and build their hopes upon them. God’s mercy and truth are praised even to the heavens, that is, by all the bright and blessed inhabitants of the upper world, who are continually exalting God’s praises to the highest, while David, on earth, is endeavouring to spread his praises to the furthest, v. 9.V.

How he leaves it at last to God to glorify his own name (v. 11): Be thou exalted, O God! The same words which he had used (v. 5) to sum up his prayers in he here uses again (and no vain repetition) to sum up his praises in: "Lord, I desire to exalt thy name, and that all the creatures may exalt it; but what can the best of us do towards it? Lord, take the work into thy own hands; do it thyself: Be thou exalted, O God!"

Amen!

All Stopped Up

"Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts:

and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom." Ps. 51:6

Strong's definition: hidden: to stop up, shut up, keep close (Qal); secret (participle); (Niphal) to be stopped up

In every cross reference of this word it is referring to stopping up a well of water or some type of running water. The idea that a needed source of life has been shut up and hidden from anyone who would seek it or need it. This is profound to me. In my casual reading of this text, I would have assumed that "the hidden part" that needed wisdom was the same as the inward parts that the Lord desires truth. Yet, I see that they are different. In the context of this psalm, David is pouring forth his heart in confession of his sin against the Lord. He is "all stopped up" in his heart with corruption, lust and guilt.

The Lord desires me to walk in truth in my heart and mind while He gives wisdom to those areas in my life that are "all stopped up".  Where am I struggling? Where am I buried in frustration, fear, selfishness and sin?

Matthew Henry writes in reference to this verse:  "What God requires of us he himself works in us, and he works it in the regular way, enlightening the mind, and so gaining the will.  Some read it as a prayer: "Lord, in this instance, I have done foolishly; for the future make me to know wisdom.’’ Where there is truth God will give wisdom; those that sincerely endeavour to do their duty shall be taught their duty."

As I read through the commentaries, I admit that I am on a lone track here with my thoughts on this verse. I am certainly willing to step aside and allow those far more learned than I teach the depth of this passage. However, I willingly accept the Lord's challenge to me this morning to search my heart and see what sins may have shut up my understanding and knowledge of His will and work in my life.

Psalm 51
"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned , and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest , and be clear when thou judgest. Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean : wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice . Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise. For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise . Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem. Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar."