Truth for Lies ~ Part 3

Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson

Chapter 2 - Part 2

January 5, 2012

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete. You are looking at things as they are outwardly. If anyone is confident in himself that he is Christ's, let him consider this again within himself, that just as he is Christ's, so also are we.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-7

Lie #5 Everyone’s Marriage Is Better Than Yours.
When you see another couple showing affection or interacting in a healthy way, you assume that is the whole story of their life. When you are interacting with your husband in the same way, you do not value that moment because you are aware and (often too much) focus on the faults and failures you know are present in your married life. p.40

“When you believe it (this lie), it causes you to look around at all your friends and naively think, they really love each other and have no idea what our marriage is like.” p. 41

“I am convinced that others look at your marriage and think the very same thing about yours that you think about theirs. It’s the LIE, and you all believe it.

“...guys just don’t believe that lie...except...maybe the lie that their marriage is better than it really is.” p. 42

Truth #5 “...all marriages stink from time to time. That’s what happens when you put two people together. They argue, see things differently, say cutting comments, or give the silent treatment sometimes. That’s not just some marriages; that’s ALL marriages.”

See Colossians 3: 5-21; 1 Peter 3:1-9-12; Ephesians 5:22-33
All throughout the new testament we are taught and commanded to love with a love not our own. We are constantly being challenged to move out of our comfort zones, love those who are unlovely, and forgive, forgive, forgive. We are being exhorted in the passages above specifically regarding our married life. We are told to pursue and work out our struggles and lay down our lives for one another. The concept of loving each other and submitting to one another was markedly different to the Christian in that day than the worldly marriages around them. The same is true for us today. If marriage was easy and didn’t take effort or create the struggles that we daily face, then we wouldn’t need these admonishments. As it is, we are daily called to reflect Christ to one another, and every married couple with need the strength of the Lord to do that.

“To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:8-9

We ALL need these words because we ALL stumble to fulfill them.


Lie #6 Everyone Else Can Do It All.
“So why do you moms insist on believing that you should be able to do it all? I’ll tell you why. Because you believe the LIE that everyone else can.

“You’re an emotional wreck and find yourself saying to your kids, your husband, and yourself, ‘I can’t do it all.’ But inside, you still believe every other homeschooling mom can.” p.43

Truth #6 There is not a homeschool mom alive who can do it all well. No one can teach their kids all they need to know for the rest of their lives, keep a meticulously clean house, fix gourmet, healthy meals, meet all the needs of their husband, have a super model body, and be a spiritual giant. It just isn’t possible.

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven - I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves. He has made everything appropriate in its time. I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.” Ecclesiastes 3:1, 10, 11, 14

“He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, But they are like chaff which the wind drives away.” Psalm 1:3-4

"I will make them and the places around My hill a blessing. And I will cause showers to come down in their season; they will be showers of blessing. Also the tree of the field will yield its fruit and the earth will yield its increase, and they will be secure on their land. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I have broken the bars of their yoke and have delivered them from the hand of those who enslaved them.” Ezekiel 34:26-27

Lie #7 Every Other Mom Loves Homeschooling Her Kids
“Some enjoy parts of homeschooling but some hate every part of homeschooling except the results. The things that are the easiest are usually not very good for you, but those things that take blood, sweat, and tears are worth everything. Homeschooling must be really, really good because it’s really, really hard.”
p. 44-45

Truth #7 No one homeschools because it is easy. Most do it because they think it is the best.

What is our true purpose for home education? If it is best for us it is because it causes us to gain more of Christ by sharing in his struggles and sufferings as we strive to persevere. Let us not focus on what we were doing, could be doing, or enjoy doing more. Let us press on toward the goal and what Christ has waiting for us ahead.

“But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,...but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:7-8, 13-14


Lie #8 Everyone Else Is More Capable Than You.
Many feel defeated because they believe that others are more “qualified” to teach their children. They fear their children are being cheated in some way.

“...teaching your own children is nothing like teaching someone else’s children.” p.46

Truth #8 You are God’s ‘Plan A’ for your children

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” Deuteronomy 6:5-7

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

Lie #9 You Are The Only One Who Is Falling Apart And Feels The Way You Feel.
You might agree with all the other things we’ve talked about so far, but you’re still convinced that you’re the only one who is as bad as you. And sometimes being with a group of homeschooling moms heightens your feeling of failure. p. 47

If we believe this lie, we will isolate ourselves from the very truth and people meant to share these truths with us. We will continue to live a life of defeat.

Truth #9 We ALL struggle and need one another to gain victory.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” James 5:16, 19

“As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.” Ephesians 4:14-16

Summary: “If lies like these (and others) go unchecked and unchallenged, I guarantee the joy will be sucked right out of your home, your marriage, and your life. You will wake up every day dreading homeschooling and hoping that something will change to stop the nightmare.” p. 48

Discussion:
Of the lies in this section, which do you identify with most?
Why do you think this lie is the one that most affects you?
Is there anything that you do, or we do, as a group, that contributes to the lying pattern?
How can we “fine tune” our group so that we don’t contribute to this problem?