This Is It

"If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3

This week begins my 9th year homeschooling. Well, technically 13th, but we won't get technical.

A few things are happening to make this year particularly challenging. It also feels extremely special. There is a dynamic surrounding this time that I recognize, but haven't fully grasped. Likely, there are several dynamics and they are all circling my fuzzy brain just close enough to notice, but heavy enough to keep me searching.

At any rate, I find myself looking to the Lord more and more for the guidance and wisdom I need this year. I see how He has worked in the past to bring me to this place. I see how He is building on the work He has begun in our family. I see that it was a preparation for what lies ahead. 

I can't help but feel a very heavy burden on me each morning as I rise, considering all the tasks and responsibilities before me. Yet, He is here. You are here, Lord. Your word is alive and speaking of promise, comfort, strength and hope. You lovingly call out the truth that it is for this reason that I have been called by You.

The work You have been doing in me since the moment I met You, now is the time to see the fruit. I know I have much more to learn. I know I need so much more from You. But, in a little house, in a little town, in a not-so-little family, I see You pushing me forward into the life You have prepared for me. This is one of those moments, (and You know I've had them before) where I find myself standing at a huge precipice, overlooking amazing blessings and challenges before me. There is more awaiting me than I can fully embrace, and I cannot move forward without You there beside me. Yet, I am filled with such joy as I consider what You are doing in our lives and all that lies before us. Thank You, Lord. Thank You for the abundance of Your love for me. I am in awe over the work You do in my life.

So, This Is It.

What Has Been Done pushes The Work At Hand forward to embrace All That Awaits.

Savior, like a shepherd lead us,
Much we need Thy tender care;
In Thy pleasant pastures feed us,
For our use They folds prepare:

Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus,
Thou has bought us,
Thine we are;
Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus,
Thou has bought us,
Thine we are.

We are Thine-do Thou befriend us,
Be the Guardian of our way;
Keep Thy flock, from sin defend us,
Seek us when we go astray:

Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus,
Hear, O hear us when we pray;
Blessed Jesus, Blesses Jesus,
Hear, O hear us when we pray.

Thou has promised to receive us,
Poor and sinful tho we be;
Thou hast mercy to relieve us,
Grace to cleanse and pow'r to free:

Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus,
Early let us turn to Thee;
Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus,
Early let us turn to Thee.

Early let us seek They favor,
Early let us do Thy will;
Blessed Lord and only Savior,
With Thy love our bosoms fill:

Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus,
Thou hast loved us, love us still;
Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus,
Thou hast loved us, love us still.

(Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us - William Bradbury, 1816-1868)

Thinking of Baby Dear

I was thumbing through the hymnal tonight with my five year old daughter. She loves to sing and we were working on learning a couple of the new songs we heard this past Sunday. I came across this song and it struck me. I couldn't help but think of our precious baby being molded and formed within by the Master Potter. As I sang through the words in my heart, it became a prayer for our little one we soon will meet as well as for myself. Not only is this baby being knit into the beautiful person the Lord desires, but I am also being changed, cleansed, and filled with His spirit as I learn to lean on His power and strength more and more each day. Thank you, Lord. And please, Have Thine Own Way!

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Thou art the Potter, I am the clay;
Mold me and make me after Thy will,
While I am waiting, yielded and still.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Search me and try me, Master today!
Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now,
As in Thy presence humbly I bow.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Wounded and weary, help me, I pray!
Power, all power, surely is Thine!
Touch me and heal me, Savior divine!

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Hold o'er my being absolute sway!
Fill with Thy Spirit till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me!

Adelaide A. Pollard, 1862-1934

Hope Deferred

Proverbs 13:12  "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."

Matthew Henry's commentary:
Note, 1. Nothing is more grievous than the disappointment of a raised expectation, though not in the thing itself by a denial, yet in the time of it by a delay: Hope deferred makes the heart sick and languishing, fretful and peevish; but hope quite dashed kills the heart, and the more high the expectation was raised the more cutting is the frustration of it. It is therefore our wisdom not to promise ourselves any great matters from the creature, not to feed ourselves with any vain hopes from this world, lest we lay up matter for our own vexation; and what we do hope for let us prepare to be disappointed in, that, if it should prove so, it may prove the easier; and let us not be hasty. 2. Nothing is more grateful than to enjoy that, at last, which we have long wished and waited for: When the desire does come it puts men into a sort of paradise, a garden of pleasure, for it is a tree of life. It will aggravate the eternal misery of the wicked that their hopes will be frustrated; and it will make the happiness of heaven the more welcome to the saints that it is what they have earnestly longed for as the crown of their hopes. (italics mine)

In a recent conversation with a friend, this verse came to my mind. In an attempt to share it, I was drawn to the truth that lies within.  As I read Mr. Henry's thoughts, I realized how this verse applies to every area of our lives. Relationships, child training, a quiet evening to myself ;), or the pursuit of job opportunities.

It *is* our wisdom if we keep our hopes rooted in the Creator rather than the created. It is my own foolishness then, that causes such hurt, frustration and disappointment when I am deferred by another.  I was unwise to place my hope there in the first place. 

Practically speaking, I am called to hope in the promises of the Lord's provision and purposes regarding our time of waiting for jobs to come in. This season of waiting is His gift to us for more reasons than I can comprehend. I am to count it as all joy (James 1:2-4). I am foolish to hope in the offers and enticements given by those who make promises of work when they do not hold the future in their hands. When I have rightly placed my hope, it will be one more step on the journey that leads me closer to what I "earnestly long for...the Crown of my Hopes."

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow
Hymn by Ira F. Stanphill, 1950

I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine,
For its skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said;
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what lies ahead.

Ev'ry step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb;
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;
Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining;
There no tear will dim the eye
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky.

I don't know about tomorrow--
It may bring me poverty;
But the One who feeds the sparrow
Is the one who stands by me.
And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand.

Two Gifts of Hope

Yesterday, the Lord blessed us with two gifts of hope regarding His provision. They are small and some may even say conincidental, yet I know they are gifts from our loving Father.

David received a referal call to bid on a small residential job. There are two other bids in already and the customer has already given their top dollar amount, which would maybe be enough to pay a month's mortgage. The Hope of daily bread. :)  He gives the estimate tomorrow.

He also received an email with the design for the business cards for the new company we are praying will come to fruition. They look wonderful and have us all excited to begin passing them out. We needed that gift of anticipation. Hope of a future.

I view these as gifts of hope simply because they give us tangible things to remind us of the unchanging promise of the Lord, that He will not forsake us. I should not need these gifts to trust in His faithfulness, yet He knows my weakened heart. He knows that I am prone to doubt. He knows that I am prone to worry. He knows that I need grace.  These gifts do not make His promise more real or count as a "seal" of any kind. He does not need to confirm His love to me. Yet, because of His patience and mercy towards me, his beloved, He has gifted me with all that I need to continue to grow in my faith. 

When we first married, the Lord gave us a verse in Matthew to use as a foundation for the life He was building in us.  "And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew and burst against that house, and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded upon the rock." Matthew 7:25 We have that verse engraved on our wedding rings.  Gratefully, we haven't had many times of rain, floods and wind in our marriage. Yet, as we face them now, my heart rejoices that He has given us such a firm foundation on which to stand.

The Solid Rock

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus' blood and righteousness.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus' name.

When darkness seems to hide His face,

I rest on His unchanging grace.

In every high and stormy gale,

My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,

Support me in the whelming flood.

When all around my sould gives way,

He then is all my Hope and Stay.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand.

All other ground is sinking sand.

All other ground is sinking sand.

words by Edward Mote, 1834

music by William B. Bradbury, 1863