Looking Back...Looking Ahead 2014

This past year was a life changing one, that's for sure! I didn't spend a lot of time here on this blog, since I decided to do the bulk of my journaling in my notebooks. I still enjoy that best, so I don't think I'll be here a whole lot in the coming year.

I have been challenged by some friends, though, to be thinking on resolutions for the coming year.  Honestly, I just don't really like to make those because I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. I do, however, have some things I know I am going to be working on in the coming year.  Mostly, though, I really love reflecting back on the year in this format.  It causes me to see what the Lord has done in my life and what threads He is continuing to weave for the future. So, here goes my time of reflection!

In the Year 2013.....

I rejoiced...

> When my husband started his own public accounting firm working from our home
> When my mother came to visit for 10 days!
> When my precious, oldest daughter hit that amazing milestone of Sweet Sixteen.
> When I completed a difficult yet profoundly life-changing 21 day Daniel Fast with my family
> When I watched my husband shrink away about 80 pounds worth of weight in less than 6 months!
>  When I said good bye to 50 pounds worth of weight in a little over 6 months and finding healing for my physical body and sinful habits regarding food.
>  When I watched our family work hard to split, load, stack several cords of wood provided to us by the Lord through his people.
>  When the Lord continued to provide for our needs through sending work, gifts from brothers and sisters in Christ, and the hard work of my husband's hands.
> When I watched my four oldest children perform on stage for the first time in The Scarlet Pimpernel.
> When I sent my oldest daughter off to her first day of work away from home.
> When I began making many new friends who have greatly supported me in my new journey of eating a plant-based diet.
> When we enjoyed a wonderful Christmas Eve with David's family.

I grieved....

> When I struggled for months with depression, blood sugar struggles, sleep deprivation, and a sense of hopelessness over my physical and mental health.
> When my husband and I struggled through the reality of dealing with his ADHD and learning how we both need to work well with the unique way the Lord has made him and me.
> When my husband was fired from the accounting firm he was working at this past spring.
> When we realized it was time to leave our long-distance church family in search of another local body to grow with.
> When we've had to make difficult choices and sacrifices to live within our means.
> When I went through a painful week of detox, realizing just how my sin had affected my physical, mental, and emotional life, including my poor family.

I learned...

> That I really was the source of most of my struggles. Sin has a deeper hold than I imagined.
> That my children are amazingly supportive and willing and able to change.
> That a plant-based lifestyle will bring healing AND a level of communion with the Lord I never could have known.  Only the Lord could have convinced me of that truth.
> That trying new things, even if just for a short time, can literally change your life.
> That the Lord speaks through His word, as He promises.
> That my husband is an amazing man of strength and determination. I can, should, and do trust him.
> That my husband is incredibly handsome as a skinny guy!!
> That I really DO like vegetables! Even Brussels sprouts!

I pray...

> That I would find God's specific direction for our educational pursuits just as I have with our nutritional and health needs.
> That I would be the support and encouragement my husband needs during this difficult time of starting a new business.
> That the Lord would greatly bless the work of David's hands, causing him to be fruitful for His glory in all that he strives for.
> That we would have a profitable tax season so that David can continue as self-employed and our needs would be met outside of government resources.
> That we would find a church home where we can serve, grow, and see our children blossom under Truth.
> That I would grow closer with my children. My oldest three in particular, healing from hurts and tying strong heart strings.
> That I would be faithful to the Lord's priorities in my life and willing to set aside my own.
> That I would completely heal, physically, by making it to my goal weight through building a life filled with the best of the Lord's provision and actively using my body to serve Him well.
> That I would be a blessing and support to others looking for help in their journey to health and healing.
> That the Lord would make a way for my family and I to visit my friends and relatives in the Midwest this year.

I resolve... *big breath*

> To establish a strong morning routine that will start my day strong.
> To lose another 50 pounds by our wedding anniversary in June.
> To establish a daily routine that prioritizes activity and exercise for myself and our family.
> To set aside time to seek the Lord's direction for our children's education plans.
> To pray scripture daily for my children and husband.
> To make this the Year of the Boy.  I will change my tone, face, and actions toward my boys so that I can know them better and love them rightly. I will pursue them with grace, truth, and love.
> To revise and keep up my blogs as a way to help myself through creative outlet and others through the information I share.
> To make reading aloud the highest priority with my younger students.
> To develop and follow a discipleship plan for my older children.
> To establish and follow boundaries regarding my social time on the computer so that I am fully available to my family and their needs, setting the example they need of a godly wife and mother.
> To make writing real letters a weekly habit in my life.

Speak to the Heart

Psalm 36:1 "Transgression speaks to the ungodly within his heart, there is no fear of God before his eyes."

Romans 3:9-18 (paraphrased)
"What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we...are all under sin;
> none righteous
>none who understands
> all have turned aside, become useless
> none who does good
> we deceive with our tongues
> there is cursing and bitterness in our mouths
> our feet are swift to shed blood
> where we walk we create destruction and misery
> we do not know the path of peace
> we have no fear of God

Father, the magnitude of your redemption is beyond comprehension.  Look at us.  Look at who we are without You.

We don't even see how bad off we are until Your Spirit opens our eyes.

Oh, Lord, give me Your heart for those who need You. Forgive me for my anger and offense at people who are lost in their sin. Help me not forget I am still at war against my flesh.

Praise to You! You have won my final victory!

Help me as I work with my disciples.  Help me remember that Transgression is speaking to them in their very hearts! They do not have the fear of God before their eyes. 

Oh, Lord! Let them see it in me!

When they think of Mother, let it be with a full attachment to Your word and dependence and love for You.  Cause me to rightly speak Your Word into their hearts that it would rightly triumph over the Transgression speaking to their hearts.

Colossians 3:16  "Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God." 

How is this done?

Give me practical ways to speak Your Word into their hearts and put the Fear of the Lord before their eyes.

1. Read the Scriptures:  It is our daily bread, let me return to reading it before each meal.

2. Teach with the Scriptures: In choice of curriculae, books read, visuals, discussion.

3. Admonish with Scriptures: Let it be Your word that directs, not my own. Let Your words be heard, seen, and experienced in every room of our home. Use psalms, scripture hymns and songs to lead, build up, and direct my little, and not so little, followers.

5. Respond to Your word:  SING, pray, speak, act with gratitude to the truths found in Your Word.

Lord, let Your Word do it's powerful and holy work in the our lives each day.

If I have any friends out there reading along, please share ways you keep the Word of God alive and active in your homes each day.  Thanks!

Roll with it...

April 4, 2013
Journal Entry

"Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him, and He will do it." Psalm 37:5

Literal: Roll you way upon the Lord

Batach: have confidenc, be bold, be secure, feel safe,
Derek: road, journey, path, manner, direction, habit, course of life, distance
Asa: accomplish, do make, produce attend to, put in order, bring about

What will He do? What is it? What is my way?

Cross references:

"Cast your burdens upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Psalm 55:22

Rolling...Casting...this action of pushing the issues - the way- the burdens away from oneself. Not just handing them over, but doing so with great effort. Effort fitting to the weight of the burden.

Literal: Cast what He has given you

See the PROVIDENCE!! This burden, this way that I take, it is what He has given. The one who assigned the task designed the challenge. He is there and can be trusted to bring the solution about for us and through us. He has the answer.

 

 

"Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:3

Again: Roll
Ma'seh: deed, labor, business, pursuit, enterprise, undertaking, achievement, product
Machashabah: thoughts, devices, plans, purposes, inventions

This verse has the feel of industry. A sense of work, production, efficiency, ingenuity. A sense of moving forward and leading rather than simply following a path. It has a sense of pro-activeness to it in contrast to the weight of the burdens and struggle of the previous verses.

 

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

Again: Casting; throw upon; place upon
Merimna: care; anxiety
Melo: to care about

You do this, Lord, because you care.

You plan this journey, you give us these burdens, you design these cares so that we would exert ourselves in such a way that we must push them back upon you with an amount of effort that causes us to recognize your great providence, power, and love for us; along with our desperate need for it.

Whether I am pressing forward on a steep, uphill path; winding along on an unmarked road; struggling to breathe under the weight of my duties; formulating a creative plan with hope and wonder; or fretting over the fear of the unknowns, I can roll these onto you.

You choose this for me because you care. You promise I will not be shaken. I can cast these unto you with boldness. Walk in confidence, feeling safe and secure, because this is your doing and you will establish and complete your plan.

My way is Your Way.  Lovingly designed and chosen by you to draw me closer than I was.

Thank You.

Desires of Your Heart

April 3, 2013
Journal Entry:

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

So many times I've read this and felt a tinge of embarrassment. It somehow feels selfish, like I am to pursue you, Lord, to get what I want. I don't want to think of you as a big Santa in the Sky.

Cross references:

 

"You have given him his heart's desire and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah" Psalm 21:2

 

What did the king receive?

v. 1 strength, salvation

v. 3 the blessings of good things, a crown of gold (kingship/position)

v. 4 length of days

v. 5 splendor and majesty

 

What did the king request of the Lord?

v. 4  Life

 

Of all the things you gave the king, the one thing requested was Life. The desire of his heart was Life.

 

Lord, this is my heart's desire. I praise you for the overwhelming gift of salvation - a new life of walking with you and being welomed into your presence through the work of Jesus Christ.  Lord, would you work in my heart that this gift of life would be full and alive within me? Lord, the power of spring - the glory of the ground and trees bursting forth - that is the life I long for in my life - Energy. Joy. Power.

 

"He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. " Psalm 145:19

 

 - a sense of salvation in the context; being rescued and helped in a time of trouble; Safety was the heart's desire

 

"  '(keep asking), and it will be given to you; (keep seeking), and you will find; (keep knocking), and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! ' " Matthew 7:7-8; 11

 

PROMISE!! 

 

There is a command and there is a promise. There is love in the these gifts, based up on the requests of a child. A child asks for what they simply desire - maybe not even knowing if it is best for them.  You will give what is good. Yet, you instruct and command: Keep Asking...Keep Seeking...Keep Knocking. You want us to Keep Pursuing You.

 

I am not that kind of parent.

 

My brain is adverse to those who continuously persist with their requests. Change my brain! Teach me to pursue you hard and not give up. Teach me to delight in repeatedly coming to you...asking...seeking...knocking...

 

Let me never give up laying my heart's desires before you, that they would be continually shaped and fulfilled by your good measures.

"God's word must be the guide of your desires, and the ground of your expectations in prayer;" - Matthew Henry, The Secret of Communion with God

 



Living a Parallel Life

Mom’s Voice in the Wilderness

Hearts for Home

September 18, 2012

Read Matthew 3:1-12

John the Baptist and the homeschooling mom: Parallel Lives ;-)

John’s Occupation
>Preacher & Preparer v. 1
Mom’s Occupation
>Preacher & Preparer
2 Timothy 4:2-5 "I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.  As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry."

John’s Location
>The wilderness v. 3
Mom’s Location
>Socially, culturally, financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically isolated

John’s Attention to Self
>animal skins, locusts, wild food v.4
Mom’s Attention to Self
>varies, but often overlooked

John’s Audience
>Disciples God sent, pharisees, saducees
Mom’s Audience
>Disciples God has sent, onlookers, those sitting in judgement

John’s Message/Mom’s Message
>Repent! The Kingdom is at hand v. 2
>Repent! Bear fruit v. 8, 10
>Repent! You cannot rely on your heritage v. 9
>Repent! I am preparing you for work of Jesus in your life v. 11
>Repent! Christ will sift us to find His own v. 12

Journal entry:
John was working with his disciples-drawing them to repentance and, then, to a life lived out that showed that repentance. He cautioned them that they cannot say they are relying on their lineage for their security of salvation. He revealed that his efforts to bring them to repentance was only preparing them for Christ and His mighty work in their lives. He warned them that God is at work to gather and clear out His threshing floor.

Here am I. I am called to be as John the Baptist in my children’s lives. My role is to guide them to a life of repentance by helping them to recognize their own sin and the consequences of it. I am to lead them to repentance and the fruit that results. As I lead them in this, I am joining the Lord in His work to prepare them for the great work He will do within them. They cannot rely upon my faith or their father’s. They will be sifted as we have been. Lord, let them be found in You!

God’s Word: The Method of our Message of Repentance
(taken from Teach Them Diligently by Lou Priolo)

“Conviction flows out of teaching (the scriptures) because teaching (the scriptures) makes people aware of what God requires.” p. 27

“There are times when conviction and teaching go hand in hand. So we must not think of them as mutually exclusive. In order to produce conviction, one may have to teach new material or reteach in new ways what the child has heard but has not yet converted from theory to practice. The parent may need to further clarify biblical truth and how it applies to the particulars of his child’s situation. The Bible requires the parent to learn skills in order to bring about conviction.” p. 27

“Bringing conviction, therefore, is a part of the responsibility of the ministry of the Word. Since, as we have seen, one of the most important tasks as parents is to minister the Word to your children, using the Scriptures to bring about conviction in their hearts is a part of your responsibility. You must learn how to effectively use the Word to appeal to the conciences of your little lawbreakers. “ p. 30

“No process of change [or philosophy of parenting] that ignores a child’s relationship to God can succeed nomatter what gimmicks are used to get what the child wants. When a parent attempts to change a child’s behavior without first seeking change in his relationship with God, the result is merely outward, pharisaical behavior, just as displeasing to God as the original selfish behavior.” p. 31

*Note: Ultimately, it is God (not man) who is sovereign over the conviction process. We are dependent up on God the Spirit to use the Word and any other means He chooses to convict us (or others) of anything. p. 31

Let us then KNOW our message that we are called and commanded to preach. Let us pray for one another as well as spur one another on in His word so that we may be found faithful servants of the Lord Jesus in this coming year and for eternity. God has so chosen to place us in each others lives for such a time as this. May we learn together, pray together, weep together, rejoice together, and love together lives of such victory that the generations to follow will have strong and clear footsteps to follow.

James

"13Who among you is wise and understanding ? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."  James 3:13-18

Matthew Henry-
 And then, lastly, true wisdom will go on to sow the fruits of righteousness in peace, and thus, if it may be, to make peace in the world, v. 18. And that which is sown in peace will produce a harvest of joys. Let others reap the fruits of contentions, and all the advantages they can propose to themselves by them; but let us go on peaceably to sow the seeds of righteousness, and we may depend upon it our labour will not be lost. For light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart; and the work of righteousness shall be peace, and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

Truth for Lies Part 5

Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe

 Chapter 3 pt. 2 and Chapter 4

By Todd Wilson

Find a Real Partner

But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called, “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13

...and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25

“Every homeschooling mom needs to have a like-minded friend to help protect her against the lies of the enemy. By like-minded, I mean someone who homeschools for the same reasons.” p. 66
“If you don’t have a like-minded friend, then non like-minded relationships will reinforce the lies that you tend to believe. You will always be questioning your goals and methods.
“...if you have a friendship with a homeschooling mom who homeschools for the same reasons you do, you’ll be able to be with other non like-minded friends and stand tall.” pg. 67
“Once you have a like-minded friend make it your priority to be an encourager.” p. 69
“Your homeschooling friend is staring down 180 days of daily exhaustion, surrounded by pint-sized humans who need to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes, ask for a snack three times an hour, can’t remember what they learned the day before, and then throw-up in the middle of the floor.

Lies creep in and the enemy will win EXCEPT...

“Standing on the sidelines is a friend who through a note, a phone call, or over egg salad sandwiches reminds her desperate homeschooling friend, ‘YOU CAN DO IT!! Don’t believe the lies...YOU CAN DO IT!!!” p. 70

Questions to Discuss with Real Partner at first meeting:
1. Share why you started homeschooling.
2. Describe your method of homeschooling. (i.e., textbook, Charlotte Mason, unschooling, etc.)
3. What are some of your goals in homeschooling?
4. What has been your biggest joy and struggle in homeschooling?
5. Share the area in which it’s most difficult for you to be REAL (you don’t have to share all the dirt in this area on your first meeting).
6. How do you and your children get along?
7. What is your husband’s involvement with homeschooling?
8. What is the hardest part of a typical day of homeschooling for you?
9. What area would you like the most accountability?
10. Share one or two specific prayer requests that would help your homeschool and home) go smoother this week.

Chapter 4 Believe the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth

“The great thing about TRUTH is that it’s always TRUE. It doesn’t change over time, smear when it gets wet, or stretch when it’s pulled. It’s constant, unchanging, inflexible, and ageless.
You can boldly state, ‘If it’s true, then it’s true no matter how the circumstances change or fluctuate.’ The TRUTH serves as an anchor when homeschooling storms assault you.” p. 77
TRUTH # 1 You Are Not Alone
“...we have a whole population of godly wives and homeschooling moms who smile and laugh on the outside, but inside they’re walking around under the heavy burden of loneliness and isolation caused by a cunningly told lie.
“...say it to yourself right now...I am not alone. All the feelings of inadequacy, isolation, and failure I feel, other moms feel as well. They may hide it, but there are days when they feel like tossing in the towel, loading up their kids on the school bus, and joining the circus just like I do.” p. 79
See Romans 7: 15-25

TRUTH #2 God Gave Your Children Exactly the Mother They Needed

“If God wanted someone better than you to be your children’s mother, He would have done that. If you want someone smarter to teach your children, you can find someone. There is always someone smarter than you. BUT if you want someone better to teach your children, you will find no one.” p. 81
“One sure-fire way to fan the flames of the lie that says, ‘You’re not doing a good job,’ is to compare your weaknesses to another mom’s strengths. You set yourself up for a world of disappointment. Instead, be confident that God knew what He was doing when he made you and that your weaknesses and strengths are exactly the ones He wanted you to have.

Psalm 139:13-18; 2 Cor. 12:9-10

TRUTH #3 Your Children Will Become Exactly What God Created Them To Be.

“The seed of the man is in the child.” Marcia Washburn

“Think of your children as seeds. They will grow up and mature to be exactly what God wants them to be. If your son was created to be an engineer, he will become and engineer. If your daughter was created to be an organizer, she will grow up to be that.
“Your children will become exactly what God has created them to be, NOT because of your efforts, but IN SPITE of your efforts.
“This truth is so important to get because although you may be frustrating yourself...you’re probably also frustrating your see. Your seed may not verbalize this, but inside they begin to think, ‘Mom would like me better if I was more like a sunflower.” p. 88-89
“You are not responsible to make your child something they are not. You are only responsible to give them the tools to do what they were created to do, sharpening where you can, loving them unconditionally, and leaving a godly (REAL) example for them to follow.” p. 90

(see Psalm 78 for a great study on the role and affect of parents upon later generations)

Prayer:
“Dear God,
Please help me to love my children today...not for what they might become tomorrow or in the future. Help me to like them even if they never master a certain skill that I want them to master. Let me love them unconditionally, never withholding my love or approval from them based on their performance. Let me see the good in them and make me blind to their shortcomings. Forgive me because I know that I have been forgiven so much and yet I hold my children’s failures against them. Amen. “ p. 91


TRUTH #4 You Can’t Do It All

“Don’t set unrealistic expectations for your, your children, and those around you. Since you can’t realistically do it all, you need to determine what you can do and then be secure in that.
“Sit down with your husband to determine what’s important and what isn’t. Work on the important stuff and let the unimportant get squeezed out.”

Make lists of Essentials and Non-Essentials (see p. 96-97)

“I am NOT saying that...non-essentials are bad or that you shouldn’t include them in your home. I am saying that in a world of limited time, you have to pick and choose what you can and cannot do.” p. 98

*Different seasons produce different needs and priorities.

TRUTH #5 Those Perfect Homeschooling Families Are Not Real

“Believing the lie that their family is perfect or better than yours will cause you to go bonkers. It will rot your heart from the inside out and cause you to do things that will damage your relationship with your husband and your children.” p. 106

Gal. 5:5-7

TRUTH #6 You’re Doing a Great Job!
Read p. 106
1 Cor 9:23-27

Part 5: Outside Influences
List on p. 111
“Whatever it is that reinforces the lies, cut it out. Take no prisoners. No mercy. You can do it. And when you do, you will re-experience the joy of homeschooling and of being a mom and a wife. That’s what lie-busting truth leaves in its wake -- joy, freedom, and happiness.” p.113

Assignment this month:
1. Meet with your husband to discuss any issues the Lord has been working on in your heart during this study. Ask him for insights on how you can be more Real and in what ways you need to allow Truth to guide you.

2. Find a Real Partner by next month’s meeting. Try to meet /talk at least once (use the list provided in the notes if it’s helpful).

3. Begin praying for yourself, your children, your home, and your Real partner on a daily basis.

Prayer Requests: