A Melting Heart

I'm so blessed by what I am learning through God's word in 1 Thess. One of the truths that continues to press in my mind is found in this verse:
1 Thessalonians 4:8 "So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you."

The "this" Paul is referring to in the context of the passage are the teachings and instructions he has given and is now repeating to the believers in the church. He is listing for them the characteristics of their sanctification, the very things that God desires to complete in their lives to identify them as His followers. It strikes me that as I focus on this same list to use as I disciple my own "believers" (my children) that any rejection they give is an important sign of my need to prayerfully consider their hearts and my own.

I know that in my imperfections, my training is often faulty in it's methods.  There are times that my desire and efforts to teach God's truths are defeated by my selfish motivations or impatient actions. In short, I get in the way of what the Lord is working to accomplish in their lives. When I see my children reject my instruction, my first thought should be, "What have I done to impede their hearts? How am I presenting His truths? Am I communicating in the power of God's spirit or in my own desires for gain? Am I exasperating my children?"  More often than not, my sinful heart is, at least in part, the cause of their resistance.

There are times, however, where I see my children genuinely reject the work the Lord desires to accomplish. I confess that when this happens I am again tempted by my pride to take this as shame and guilt on my behalf. Yet, I understand, through this verse, that my children are also responsible for their own hearts and there will come times when their rejection of truth is a result of their rejection of the Spirit's work in their life. That pierces my heart. When I remove myself and my hurt feelings over their resistance, I see that my dear children are rejecting the work of God in their lives. Oh, how that grieves me! How I long to wrap them up and cry out, "Receive the Lord! Soften your heart to His commands. Embrace His teachings so that you can live and enjoy His blessings!"  This is a clear call from the Lord to fall upon my knees on their behalf and pray for His victory in their hearts and minds.

This past Sunday, in a time of fellowship with another family, we searched God's word and discussed the idea of hardening our hearts against the Lord. It was evident that this idea of rejecting the Lord's work is directly related to the sin of hardening our hearts. I love when the Lord continues to bring similar truth to my mind to cement His revelations. I could see that as I work with my children, I need to pray for their hearts. That they would not harden their hearts against the Lord.

In Matthew Henry's commentary regarding this hardening of hearts, he identifies this sin:

The causes of their sin. See what God imputed it to: It is a people that do err in their hearts, and they have not known my ways. Men’s unbelief and distrust of God, their murmurings and quarrels with him, are the effect of their ignorance and mistake.

First, Of their ignorance: They have not known my ways. They saw his work (v. 9) and he made known his acts to them (Ps. 103:7); and yet they did not know his ways, the ways of his providence, in which he walked towards them, or the ways of his commandments, in which he would have them to walk towards him: they did not know, they did not rightly understand and therefore did not approve of these. Note, The reason why people slight and forsake the ways of God is because they do not know them.

Secondly, Of their mistake: They do err in their heart; they wander out of the way; in heart they turn back. Note, Sins are errors, practical errors, errors in heart; such there are, and as fatal as errors in the head. When the corrupt affections pervert the judgment, and so lead the soul out of the ways of duty and obedience, there is an error of the heart.

I see now, that along with prayer, there is something else that I can do when I find my children rejecting the Lord's instructions. First, it is a result of their ignorance. I can come alongside of them and open the scriptures to them so that they will have the knowledge that can lead to repentance. Secondly, it is a result of their "corrupt affections", those sinful desires that plague us all. Through God's word, I can help them see how their sinful passions are perverting their judgement and setting up prominence in their hearts against the Lord. I cannot change their hearts, but I can hold of the mirror of God's truth so they can see what is causing their discontent and the reality of their sin.

Now comes the completion of how the Lord works in my life. As I reflect on how to better reach my children's hearts and grow excited at finding yet another practical application of His word, His spirit churns within me asking, "How is it with you?" Forever I will praise the Lord for His gift of motherhood. I cannot imagine a more effective way for Him to twist, chisel and prod at my own hardened heart than through the lives of the precious children he has given. As I read further through Mr. Henry's commentary, the Lord's spirit worked to caution and direct my own heart where it needs to be softened:

Psalm 95:8 "Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah, As in the day of Massah in the wilderness,"
Thus here, Harden not your heart as you did (that is, your ancestors) in the provocation, or in Meribah, the place where they quarrelled with God and Moses (Ex. 17:2-7), and in the day of temptation in the wilderness, v. 8. So often did they provoke God by their distrusts and murmurings that the whole time of their continuance in the wilderness might be called a day of temptation, or Massah, the other name given to that place (Ex. 17:7), because they tempted the Lord, saying, Is the Lord among us or is he not? This was in the wilderness, where they could not help themselves, but lay at God’s mercy, and where God wonderfully helped them and gave them such sensible proofs of his power and tokens of his favour as never any people had before or since.

Note, (1.) Days of temptation are days of provocation. Nothing is more offensive to God than disbelief of his promise and despair of the performance of it because of some difficulties that seem to lie in the way.

(2.) The more experience we have had of the power and goodness of God the greater is our sin if we distrust him. What, to tempt him in the wilderness, where we live upon him! This is as ungrateful as it is absurd and unreasonable.

(3.) Hardness of heart is at the bottom of all our distrusts of God and quarrels with him. That is a hard heart which receives not the impressions of divine discoveries and conforms not to the intentions of the divine will, which will not melt, which will not bend.

(4.) The sins of others ought to be warnings to us not to tread in their steps. The murmurings of Israel were written for our admonition, 1 Co. 10:11.2.

I am amazed at the peace the Lord has given us in these last couple of months. The idea that we are in the midst of "Days of Temptation" is powerful. When I consider the time that has gone by with David not working and the changes our family has gone through resulting from that, it delights my heart that I find myself rejoicing. It can only be the work of the Lord that He has caused me to be thankful for this time of trust, of seeking His face, of receiving His provision, seeing that He brings "something out of nothing". As we move forward each day, clinging to His promises, I am reminded that I need to reflect back on the powerful ways the Lord has already worked on my behalf and in the lives of others. We may very well face even more temptation and struggles in the coming weeks, yet I will not harden my heart to the Lord's ability to provide what He knows is necessary for our growth and livelihood because I have seen His faithfulness proved mighty time and again. I will embrace His instructions to trust and look for His purposes beyond my needs and desires. I will ask Him to remove my ignorance, my corrupt desires, my doubts and distrust, the very things that work to harden my heart against Him.

Lord, as I allow your Spirit to keep my heart soft to your work in my own life, may I be an example to my children of the joy that comes from being willing to bend and melt into Your image.

1 Thessalonians, chapters 3 and 4

Paul’s Example – A New Season of Growth

1 Thes. 3:1-5
 In Paul’s separation and suffering, he continues to carry the burden of the young believers’ growth in the Lord. He takes action to encourage them as they deal with fears over his life. (Maybe they are wondering, “Will this happen to us?”)

Consider/Discuss: When our children see us struggle, are we taking action to strengthen and encourage them in their own faith? Have we prepared them in advance that we, as followers of Christ, will have to endure hardships, yet can trust the Lord’s will and purpose? Do we respond to our struggles in a way that builds and strengthens their faith?

3:6-10
What gave Paul comfort in his distress?
    >Timothy’s good news of their faith and love, always thinking kindly of Paul, longing to see him, their faith.

What causes Paul to “really live”?
     >“if you stand firm in the Lord”

What is Paul’s continued role in their lives, even while separated?
    >night and day keep praying, longing to complete what is lacking in their faith

Consider/Discuss: Where do we look for comfort in our own distress? Do we see our children as God’s tool to strengthen us in our weaknesses? Do we see them as fellow believers? What causes us to “Really live”? What is our role in our children’s lives as they or we move on to new paths?

3:11-13 – A prayer for our children

Paul’s Example: Committed to Continued Education

4: 1 Paul’s instructions have been given. He now commands them to Excel Still More. Same instructions, Repeat Often. (as parents, we often feel discouraged when we need to repeat ourselves. Yet, we see here that it is the KEY to maturity in our children's lives.)

4:2-12 The Instructions Paul has given and repeats as to how they ought to walk and please God

  >2 Commands given by the authority of Jesus.

  >3 God’s will is their sanctification, which involves:

  >v. 3 abstain from sexual immorality

  >v. 4-5 know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor without lustful passion (Self-Control in all things)

  >v. 6 no man transgresses and defrauds his brother in the matter (in immorality or passions)

  >v. 9-10 love one another

  >v. 11 lead a quiet life, attend to your business, work with your hands (be busy for the Lord!), take care of each other.

  >v. 12 behave properly toward unbelievers

V. 7-8 Reminder! If anyone rejects these teachings and work of sanctification, they are rejecting God and His work in their life. They are not rejecting man efforts.

Consider/Discuss: If I am teaching God’s truth, in His love and grace, and my children reject that truth, they are not rejecting ME, they are rejecting the Lord. This should drive us to our knees. How do I deal with my child’s rejection of what I am teaching? (am I taking it personal or getting out of the way so the Lord can work?)

What are the areas of sanctification in my children’s life that I need to focus on training and instruction from Paul’s list of commands? Where should my greatest efforts be placed in the day to day discipleship of my children? (see list from verses 3-12) Will I need to repeat these instructions? (oh yeah! And in varying degrees. What they "get" at age 7 will need to be "gotten again" at age 12 at a new level.) Will they get it the first time? (nope, Do I?) Will I challenge myself to Excel Still More?

How will this training worked out among believers affect our influence to unbelievers? Where is the majority of time spent in the life of a young believer? (with whom should their training primarily take place?)

4:13-18 Paul continues to be a source of instruction
   >answers their questions, encourages them to comfort one another with words of truth.

Consider/Discuss: As Paul reiterates the teaching he once gave, he is moving them in a direction to care for one another as he steps away as their “primary care-giver.” We can see his commitment to their faith and growth never stops, but it does take on different forms as he allows the believers to take more responsibility for their faith and each other. Our role, as parents, is to do the same. Commit to the faith and growth of our children. Instruct them in God’s truth, that they will grow in His sanctification. Repeat those instructions in various ways to encourage our children to continue to excel still more in the way of the Lord.

Assignment: Read 1 Thessalonians 5, Pray 1 Thes. 3:11-13 over your children daily.

1 Thessalonians study, Part 2.

1 Thessalonians 2:1-20
1 For you yourselves know, brethren, that our coming to you was not in vain, 2 but after we had already suffered and been mistreated in Philippi, as you know, we had the boldness in our God to speak to you the gospel of God amid much opposition. 3 For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit ; 4 but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts. 5 For we never *came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed -God is witness - 6 nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted *our authority. 7 But we proved to be gentle among *you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. 8 Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. 9 For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. 10 You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers ; 11 just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, 12 so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory. 13 For this reason we also constantly thank God that when you received the word of God which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the word of God, which also performs its work in you who believe. 14 For you, brethren, became imitators of the churches of God in Christ Jesus that are in Judea, for you also endured the same sufferings at the hands of your own countrymen, even as they did from the Jews, 15 who both killed the Lord Jesus and the prophets, and drove us out. They are not pleasing to God, but hostile to all men, 16 hindering us from speaking to the Gentiles so that they may be saved ; with the result that they always fill up the measure of their sins. But wrath has come upon them to the utmost. 17 But we, brethren, having been taken away from you for a short *while -in person, not in spirit -were all the more eager with great desire to see your face. 18 For we wanted to come to you-I, Paul, more *than once -and yet Satan hindered us. 19 For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation ? Is it not even you, in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His coming ? 20 For you are our glory and joy.

Paul: Our Parental Example

v. 1-3 review of Paul’s experience and courage in sharing the gospel in the midst of persecution.

v.4 What does God say about what He has done for us and how He has equipped us?

- approved us  (See Who Am I in Christ? at this link:) http://www.ficm.org/newsite/index.php?command=textwhoamiinchrist

- entrusted us with His gospel

The Result: We speak (the gospel) to please God, not men.

Consider/discuss: Where is my focus? Why do I speak?

v. 5-6 How should we speak? (to our children)

- without flattering speech - are we praising them or the work we see the Lord doing in them? Are we puffing them up or are we pointing them to Jesus?

- without a pretext for greed - are we motivated to train/teach our children for our own gain? Are we after making our own life more comfortable or working to make their lives fruitful?

- not seeking glory from men - are we focused on giving glory to the Lord through our work in our families, or are we seeking the praise, acceptance and validation of men? (i.e. evaluators, superintendants, parents, friends, etc.)

- not asserting our own authority - do we demand our children to respect our authority, or are we winning their respect by winning their hearts? Do I demand authority in my child's life or do I direct them to the Lord's commands to honor and obey?

Consider/discuss: Do I train so others are impressed or my children hear the gospel? Am I seeking my glory or the Lord’s?

v.7-11 How should we behave? (please note, Paul gave us an example of discipleship based on the roles he knew that mother's and father's played in the lives of their children. He took on these roles together in order to raise up these young believers. While there are distinctions in how fathers and mothers are required and naturally inclined toward working with their children, Paul is showing us that he took on all of these roles to affectively impact their lives. We are wise to pray for the ability to do the same.)

- As a nursing mother: gentle, tender, having a fond affection
   >pleased to impart the gospel
   >pleased to impart her own life - am I willing to be real, transparent, show my hopes and strengths as well as admit my failures? Is there any area of my life that I withhold from my family? Do I demand my "own time"?
   >laboring, enduring hardship, working night and day so as not to be a burden, in order to proclaim the gospel - labor and hardship cannot be escaped in motherhood. Yet, do we accept and serve our families so as not to be a burden, or are we counting the cost? Do I work with a heart of joy, so that my children will see the gospel lived out, or am I complaining and drawing attention to my "sacrifices"?

- As a father:

· devout, upright, blameless

· exhorting – to incite by words or advice; to advise or warn earnestly (parakaleo)

· encouraging – To inspire with courage, spirit, or hope; to animate; hearten; cheer on or up. (paramutheomai)

· imploring – To call upon, or for, in supplication; pray to, or for, earnestly; beseech, entreat. (marturomai)

Challenge: Make it a goal to see the distinction in these words and apply them in your daily training in your home.

Consider/discuss: What area of mothering is the Lord refining in me?

v. 12-20 WHY should we behave and speak in these ways?

So that our children will:

v.12 – walk in a manner worthy of God, into His kingdom and glory.

v. 13 – receive the word of God which they have heard from us, accepted it not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the word of God, which also performs its work in them who believe.

v. 14-16 – become imitators of the church of God in Christ Jesus, willing to endure sufferings

v. 17-18 – create a desire to be together and keep relationships strong

v. 19-20 – (see v. 5-6) they would become our hope, joy and glory at the time of His coming.

Assignment for: Read 1 Thessalonians 3-4; pray 1Thes. 3:11-13 daily for your children.

Hope Deferred

Proverbs 13:12  "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."

Matthew Henry's commentary:
Note, 1. Nothing is more grievous than the disappointment of a raised expectation, though not in the thing itself by a denial, yet in the time of it by a delay: Hope deferred makes the heart sick and languishing, fretful and peevish; but hope quite dashed kills the heart, and the more high the expectation was raised the more cutting is the frustration of it. It is therefore our wisdom not to promise ourselves any great matters from the creature, not to feed ourselves with any vain hopes from this world, lest we lay up matter for our own vexation; and what we do hope for let us prepare to be disappointed in, that, if it should prove so, it may prove the easier; and let us not be hasty. 2. Nothing is more grateful than to enjoy that, at last, which we have long wished and waited for: When the desire does come it puts men into a sort of paradise, a garden of pleasure, for it is a tree of life. It will aggravate the eternal misery of the wicked that their hopes will be frustrated; and it will make the happiness of heaven the more welcome to the saints that it is what they have earnestly longed for as the crown of their hopes. (italics mine)

In a recent conversation with a friend, this verse came to my mind. In an attempt to share it, I was drawn to the truth that lies within.  As I read Mr. Henry's thoughts, I realized how this verse applies to every area of our lives. Relationships, child training, a quiet evening to myself ;), or the pursuit of job opportunities.

It *is* our wisdom if we keep our hopes rooted in the Creator rather than the created. It is my own foolishness then, that causes such hurt, frustration and disappointment when I am deferred by another.  I was unwise to place my hope there in the first place. 

Practically speaking, I am called to hope in the promises of the Lord's provision and purposes regarding our time of waiting for jobs to come in. This season of waiting is His gift to us for more reasons than I can comprehend. I am to count it as all joy (James 1:2-4). I am foolish to hope in the offers and enticements given by those who make promises of work when they do not hold the future in their hands. When I have rightly placed my hope, it will be one more step on the journey that leads me closer to what I "earnestly long for...the Crown of my Hopes."

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow
Hymn by Ira F. Stanphill, 1950

I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine,
For its skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said;
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what lies ahead.

Ev'ry step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb;
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;
Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining;
There no tear will dim the eye
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky.

I don't know about tomorrow--
It may bring me poverty;
But the One who feeds the sparrow
Is the one who stands by me.
And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand.

Courtship Stories

In my previous post, I asked for recommendations for resources that share stories of biblical courtship. Since then, I've been given some websites, books and videos to check out. I haven't had a chance to go over these yet, but I wanted to share the resources here.  I know that courtship is definitely unique and it's wonderful to read and see the different ways the Lord has worked to bring families together, all the while staying within His powerful and loving parameters.

daughterhoodbydesign.org  - neat website giving a handbook approach study to the idea of courtship along with other articles relating to young ladies lives. Also a book on courtship is offered in their links.

ylcf.org/courtship-stories/  - Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. A lovely site with many articles of interest for young women. The address I listed is the index to the courtship stories submitted by their readers. I haven't had time to spend there, but I think the entire site is worthy of a Cup of Tea Visit. :)

tobeonevideo.org  - Promising looking video.  It's an "85 minute documentary featuring three couple's journey into marriage."  You can watch a preview of the film at this link.

Titus2.com - story of their son's courtship can be read here.

The Return of the Daughters - another film highlighting the courtship of a young couple.

Here are a few titles that I have read or that have been recommended to me for the purpose of learning more about courtship. 

Before You Meet Prince Charming - lovely book written by a young lady to young ladies. I'm looking forward to sharing this with my twelve year old daughter...in a few years. ;-)

The Three Weavers - Story and study guide written for fathers and daughters to complete together. Along with a great season of biblical study, the culmination is a celebration for the daughter with the father presenting her with a hopechest. My husband plans to work through this book with year with our daughter, timing it so that we celebrate with her on her 13th birthday.

Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot
Best Friends for Life

There are many more. These are just the few that recently came to my attention. Please feel free to leave more suggestions in a comment. Thanks!

Engaging the Heart: A book review

Engaging the Heart: Understanding the Treasure Within

by Gail McWilliams

A book written to parents challenging them with the concept of moving above and beyond the culturally accepted viewpoints regarding dating, courtship and love. From the preface, Gail, a mother of 4 daughters and 1 son, writes, "This is not a self-help book or a procedures manual for love and marriage. It is, instead, a book to challenge us to find a more excellent way that goes beyond our former mindsets and commonly accepted practices. "  (p. xiii)  In regards to this "more excellent way", she challenges parents that, "Our lives must be the ceiling from which the next generation will build - one of excellence. Excellence is never perfection, however. The difference is that perfection determines there is only one right way, but excellence says, 'Sure, there is a better way.' And then, with our children by our side, we begin to search for it." (p. xii, italics mine)

This concept of striving for excellence verses perfection, by the definition she gives, is what drew me into the pages of the book. In the midst of a society laden with resources declaring the "right" way to do most anything, it is refreshing to have someone challenge us to strive for excellence rather than a man-driven perfection.

Amidst the personal stories and experience filling this book, I found a woman reaching out not only to parents with a high call to guard their children's hearts. But I saw a woman burdened for those who have been hurt and scarred by past mistakes, abuses and failures. There is instruction as well as healing in these pages.

As a parent, you will be encouraged by scriptural mandates to protect your child's physical and emotional purity. You will be blessed with practical examples of real families striving to do this in the midst of a perverse culture. Simple, yet profound keepsakes such as teacups and rings as reminders of purity. Spoken words of scriptural blessing, and even a detailed account of the symbolic elements contained in a covenant-style wedding, marriage and life. You will be sharpened in your senses and made better aware of the wolves that lie in sheep's clothing waiting to capture and deceive yourself and your children.  You will be reminded of your duty to guard your heart in your own marriage as well.

While the choices that Gail and her family have made as they've grown their children are different in many ways to the choices my husband and I are making, I am grateful to learn from her experiences and glean from the fruit they have harvested in their children's lives. Knowing that this "lofty" way of thinking can, does, and has worked for other families is such an encouragement to us as we strive to follow biblical thinking rather than worldly reasoning. We can stand strong knowing, as she points out, "Fears of being called 'old fashioned' or 'a prude' are often excuses for saying, 'I don't want to put forth the effort to make it safer for my children.'  Communication and praying together will fuse our hearts to work for each other's success." (p. 26)

Three particular stories or points Gail shared spoke to my heart regarding this new (to us) yet age-old and trusted territory of Courtship. She states, "In some circles, in an effort to make dating seem more honorable, the word courtship has replaced the word dating, but the fruit of it is often the same. Courtship is not being isolated and your parents micro-manage your social calendar. Instead, courtship creates freedom to live your life with a heart that is untangled, a conscience that is clear and a morality that is without compromise. I believe the core issue is guarding the heart." (p. 29, italics mine)  From there, she uses life lessons from their own family experiences to build the image of how this happens.

First, a discussion "overheard" by readers with close family friends. The topic is the phrase and concept of being "asleep in Christ", as it relates to a young woman's life.  "If a young single woman was asleep it did not mean she had to miss out on life and be comatose. Quite to the contrary, it described a season where no special person of interest distracted her as she was broadening her skills, education, interests and just loving life. In this state she could be focused as she waited for the day her prince would arrive for her hand. Though the concept may seem a bit like a fairy tale, the posture is more peaceful than anxiously looking at every male who walks in the door and asking, 'Is he the one?'" (p.30)  What a precious vision for our daughters of a life rich in service, experience and time given to grow their hearts and minds for the glory of God!

Next, in the chapter titled, Secret Garden, she shares the wisdom she and her daughters gleaned from another family raising daughters of great virtue. We are given an analogy of a young woman's life and purity represented by a garden, as described in the book of Song of Solomon. "'The fresh fountains, fruit-bearing plants and sweet fragrances reflect their lives, filled with potential and new buds. The garden will need some attention to develop into its full beauty: watering, weeding, pruning and a watchful eye.'"  (p.31) Gail then asks, "'Where do you see the father in this garden?'" The reply is, "'He stands at the gate of the garden.'" She then describes his role and responsibility as one who "insures the garden is not interrupted by unwelcomed visitors...before it has time to blossom and become ripe.  Ideally, the father is to actively engage with the garden's growth and well-being while securing the safety of his secret garden - the heart of his daughter. 'The gatekeeper will need wisdom.'" (p. 32)

The passage also includes a reference to winds of adversity and winds of pleasurable times. In light of this, the mother explains, "In both seasons, a heart should be focused on the Master Gardener. He is the One who, in time, will bring forth the fruit whose taste will be pleasant to all.'" (p. 32)

We find here a wonderful image of the role parents have in preparing their "gardens" to grow healthy, fruitful and, one day, to be a blessing for all. As I am learning, gardening is a strenuous, sometimes tedious, repetitive task that brings about a harvest of joy just because of the work invested. May our efforts to keep the "gardens" of our daughter's hearts bring an abundant and ever-bearing harvest!

Finally, there is a beautiful description given of the courtship process of their first-married daughter. I cherish this story, as it gives me a practical look into how this really works. In summary, a young man who was friendly with their family, came to the father to share his interest in their daughter. In response, the father arranged private, weekly meetings with this young man. Together they studied the scripture and grew to know and love one another. During this time, the father protected the daughter by keeping these meetings a secret. His desire was to guard her heart and keep her emotions from rising up before the proper time.  In the end, these two young people were discipled, guarded and loved to a place where they could come together in confidence, freedom and assurance of the Lord's blessing on their lives.

What I appreciated more than anything else in this story was the amazing relationship that developed between the father and this young man.  In that, rather than an emphasis on just two people developing a "safe" love relationship, there is a focus on the real future that involves a larger picture. When a man and woman join in marriage, that involves far more than just two hearts. Regardless of the health of the family relationships, there will always be two (or more) families joining together. That involves many hearts. I am so impressed and rejoice in seeing how this father accepted his role to mentor this young man who sought to enter into a love relationship with his entire family. To me, I see the foundation laid for a strong multi-generational blessing for all families involved.  I pray the Lord will continue to give us wisdom as we seek to honor Him in these same ways.

I closed this book with an appetite to learn, grow and find more ways to understand and apply the biblical principles of protecting our children's purity and guarding their tender hearts. I appreciated her example of building strong communication with her daughters as they grew "from the stroller" to marriage and beyond. I took these admonishments for our daughter's lives and flipped them around as a challenge in how we will raise our sons as well. We pray they will grow to be humble, teachable and worthy of guarding the young ladies hearts they encounter as they grow. And, finally, we are compelled to pray even more fervently that the Lord would raise up His truth to others so that our children will find the blessing He has planned for their futures.

A dear friend recommended this book to me, and I am grateful. Not only for the insights I gained, but also to know we can partner together in this worthy task of guarding our children's hearts. I am eager to find more resources that give testimonies and personal stories of courtship and marriage. If you have any you can recommend, please share.

Two Gifts of Hope

Yesterday, the Lord blessed us with two gifts of hope regarding His provision. They are small and some may even say conincidental, yet I know they are gifts from our loving Father.

David received a referal call to bid on a small residential job. There are two other bids in already and the customer has already given their top dollar amount, which would maybe be enough to pay a month's mortgage. The Hope of daily bread. :)  He gives the estimate tomorrow.

He also received an email with the design for the business cards for the new company we are praying will come to fruition. They look wonderful and have us all excited to begin passing them out. We needed that gift of anticipation. Hope of a future.

I view these as gifts of hope simply because they give us tangible things to remind us of the unchanging promise of the Lord, that He will not forsake us. I should not need these gifts to trust in His faithfulness, yet He knows my weakened heart. He knows that I am prone to doubt. He knows that I am prone to worry. He knows that I need grace.  These gifts do not make His promise more real or count as a "seal" of any kind. He does not need to confirm His love to me. Yet, because of His patience and mercy towards me, his beloved, He has gifted me with all that I need to continue to grow in my faith. 

When we first married, the Lord gave us a verse in Matthew to use as a foundation for the life He was building in us.  "And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew and burst against that house, and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded upon the rock." Matthew 7:25 We have that verse engraved on our wedding rings.  Gratefully, we haven't had many times of rain, floods and wind in our marriage. Yet, as we face them now, my heart rejoices that He has given us such a firm foundation on which to stand.

The Solid Rock

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus' blood and righteousness.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus' name.

When darkness seems to hide His face,

I rest on His unchanging grace.

In every high and stormy gale,

My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,

Support me in the whelming flood.

When all around my sould gives way,

He then is all my Hope and Stay.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand.

All other ground is sinking sand.

All other ground is sinking sand.

words by Edward Mote, 1834

music by William B. Bradbury, 1863

Just What Is a Nursing Mother To Do? Pt. 1

About a year ago, as I was reading God's word, the Lord used His word to show me what a powerful example Paul's life was in the role of this growing church. In his words, Paul came as a "nursing mother" and a "father" to these new believers. My ears perked up. "Please, tell me Paul, just exactly what is it that a nursing mother should do?" I find myself in this role much of my life, so I knew this would be a fruitful study for me. This is part one of the study.
1 Thessalonians 1-2:2

Paul: Gospel Bearer and Our Example
1 Thes. 1:1-10
"Paul and Silvanus and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ : Grace to you and peace.  We give thanks to God always for all of you, making mention of you in our prayers ; constantly bearing in mind your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the presence of our God and Father, knowing, brethren beloved by God, His choice of you;  for our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction ; just as you know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake. You also became imitators of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much tribulation with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia. For the word of the Lord has sounded forth from you, not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but also in every place your faith toward God has gone forth, so that we have no need to say anything. For they themselves report about us what kind of a reception we had with you, and how you turned to God from idols to serve a living and true God, and to wait for His Son from heaven, whom He raised from the dead, that is Jesus, who rescues us from the wrath to come. "
  Context: Acts 17:1-15

1 Thes. 2:1-2
   "For you yourselves know, brethren, that our coming to you was not in vain, but after we had already suffered and been mistreated in Philippi, as you know, we had the boldness in our God to speak to you the gospel of God amid much opposition."
  Context: Acts 16:12-24

Paul, the Gospel Bearer

For Discussion: 1 v.5 Who brought the Gospel to you? What was/is their role in your life?

Who did Paul bring the Gospel to?  The people of Thessolonica.
What was his role in their life?
1 v.2 - give thanks, pray

1 v.3 - be aware, "bearing your growth in mind"

1 v.6 - an example, that which they would imitate

Paul, Our Example

Who are you first bringing the Gospel to?  Your family

What is/should be your role according to Paul’s example?
1.v2 - give thanks, pray

1.v3 - bearing in mind their work of faith, labor of love and steadfast hope

1.v5 Are we bringing the Gospel, the truth of Jesus Christ, in word only? Are we bringing the Gospel to our family by the power of the Holy Spirit in full conviction? I.e. Are we working in our own strength? Are we living what we speak?

1v.6 Are we worthy of imitation? Will they be?

1v.7 Are our children becoming an example to all believers? Are we? Are we praying and living to that end?

1 v.8 Does the word of the Lord sound forth from our children? From us? Are we praying and living to that end?

2v.2 Do we have the “boldness in our Lord to speak to our children the gospel of God amid much opposition? Will we commit to this as our duty as parents and disciplers of our children?

As we read and study the book of 1 Thessalonians and Paul’s role in these new believers lives, let us pray and ask the Lord to give us wisdom regarding our role our children’s lives. They, too, are tender shoots slowly growing into mighty oaks for the glory of God. Let us see ourselves as more than educators, caretakers and Transportation Specialists. We are first and foremost Gospel Bearers, in word and deed, to these precious people the Lord has placed in our hearts and homes. Ask the Lord how He desires you to accomplish this mighty calling in your family’s life.



Assignment: Read through the book of 1 Thes. Spend time in chapter 2 looking for examples of Paul’s parental role in the lives of the church family. Pray 2 Thes. 2:13 over your children daily.