Living a Parallel Life

Mom’s Voice in the Wilderness

Hearts for Home

September 18, 2012

Read Matthew 3:1-12

John the Baptist and the homeschooling mom: Parallel Lives ;-)

John’s Occupation
>Preacher & Preparer v. 1
Mom’s Occupation
>Preacher & Preparer
2 Timothy 4:2-5 "I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.  As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry."

John’s Location
>The wilderness v. 3
Mom’s Location
>Socially, culturally, financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically isolated

John’s Attention to Self
>animal skins, locusts, wild food v.4
Mom’s Attention to Self
>varies, but often overlooked

John’s Audience
>Disciples God sent, pharisees, saducees
Mom’s Audience
>Disciples God has sent, onlookers, those sitting in judgement

John’s Message/Mom’s Message
>Repent! The Kingdom is at hand v. 2
>Repent! Bear fruit v. 8, 10
>Repent! You cannot rely on your heritage v. 9
>Repent! I am preparing you for work of Jesus in your life v. 11
>Repent! Christ will sift us to find His own v. 12

Journal entry:
John was working with his disciples-drawing them to repentance and, then, to a life lived out that showed that repentance. He cautioned them that they cannot say they are relying on their lineage for their security of salvation. He revealed that his efforts to bring them to repentance was only preparing them for Christ and His mighty work in their lives. He warned them that God is at work to gather and clear out His threshing floor.

Here am I. I am called to be as John the Baptist in my children’s lives. My role is to guide them to a life of repentance by helping them to recognize their own sin and the consequences of it. I am to lead them to repentance and the fruit that results. As I lead them in this, I am joining the Lord in His work to prepare them for the great work He will do within them. They cannot rely upon my faith or their father’s. They will be sifted as we have been. Lord, let them be found in You!

God’s Word: The Method of our Message of Repentance
(taken from Teach Them Diligently by Lou Priolo)

“Conviction flows out of teaching (the scriptures) because teaching (the scriptures) makes people aware of what God requires.” p. 27

“There are times when conviction and teaching go hand in hand. So we must not think of them as mutually exclusive. In order to produce conviction, one may have to teach new material or reteach in new ways what the child has heard but has not yet converted from theory to practice. The parent may need to further clarify biblical truth and how it applies to the particulars of his child’s situation. The Bible requires the parent to learn skills in order to bring about conviction.” p. 27

“Bringing conviction, therefore, is a part of the responsibility of the ministry of the Word. Since, as we have seen, one of the most important tasks as parents is to minister the Word to your children, using the Scriptures to bring about conviction in their hearts is a part of your responsibility. You must learn how to effectively use the Word to appeal to the conciences of your little lawbreakers. “ p. 30

“No process of change [or philosophy of parenting] that ignores a child’s relationship to God can succeed nomatter what gimmicks are used to get what the child wants. When a parent attempts to change a child’s behavior without first seeking change in his relationship with God, the result is merely outward, pharisaical behavior, just as displeasing to God as the original selfish behavior.” p. 31

*Note: Ultimately, it is God (not man) who is sovereign over the conviction process. We are dependent up on God the Spirit to use the Word and any other means He chooses to convict us (or others) of anything. p. 31

Let us then KNOW our message that we are called and commanded to preach. Let us pray for one another as well as spur one another on in His word so that we may be found faithful servants of the Lord Jesus in this coming year and for eternity. God has so chosen to place us in each others lives for such a time as this. May we learn together, pray together, weep together, rejoice together, and love together lives of such victory that the generations to follow will have strong and clear footsteps to follow.

James

"13Who among you is wise and understanding ? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."  James 3:13-18

Matthew Henry-
 And then, lastly, true wisdom will go on to sow the fruits of righteousness in peace, and thus, if it may be, to make peace in the world, v. 18. And that which is sown in peace will produce a harvest of joys. Let others reap the fruits of contentions, and all the advantages they can propose to themselves by them; but let us go on peaceably to sow the seeds of righteousness, and we may depend upon it our labour will not be lost. For light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart; and the work of righteousness shall be peace, and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

Truth for Lies Part 5

Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe

 Chapter 3 pt. 2 and Chapter 4

By Todd Wilson

Find a Real Partner

But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called, “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13

...and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25

“Every homeschooling mom needs to have a like-minded friend to help protect her against the lies of the enemy. By like-minded, I mean someone who homeschools for the same reasons.” p. 66
“If you don’t have a like-minded friend, then non like-minded relationships will reinforce the lies that you tend to believe. You will always be questioning your goals and methods.
“...if you have a friendship with a homeschooling mom who homeschools for the same reasons you do, you’ll be able to be with other non like-minded friends and stand tall.” pg. 67
“Once you have a like-minded friend make it your priority to be an encourager.” p. 69
“Your homeschooling friend is staring down 180 days of daily exhaustion, surrounded by pint-sized humans who need to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes, ask for a snack three times an hour, can’t remember what they learned the day before, and then throw-up in the middle of the floor.

Lies creep in and the enemy will win EXCEPT...

“Standing on the sidelines is a friend who through a note, a phone call, or over egg salad sandwiches reminds her desperate homeschooling friend, ‘YOU CAN DO IT!! Don’t believe the lies...YOU CAN DO IT!!!” p. 70

Questions to Discuss with Real Partner at first meeting:
1. Share why you started homeschooling.
2. Describe your method of homeschooling. (i.e., textbook, Charlotte Mason, unschooling, etc.)
3. What are some of your goals in homeschooling?
4. What has been your biggest joy and struggle in homeschooling?
5. Share the area in which it’s most difficult for you to be REAL (you don’t have to share all the dirt in this area on your first meeting).
6. How do you and your children get along?
7. What is your husband’s involvement with homeschooling?
8. What is the hardest part of a typical day of homeschooling for you?
9. What area would you like the most accountability?
10. Share one or two specific prayer requests that would help your homeschool and home) go smoother this week.

Chapter 4 Believe the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth

“The great thing about TRUTH is that it’s always TRUE. It doesn’t change over time, smear when it gets wet, or stretch when it’s pulled. It’s constant, unchanging, inflexible, and ageless.
You can boldly state, ‘If it’s true, then it’s true no matter how the circumstances change or fluctuate.’ The TRUTH serves as an anchor when homeschooling storms assault you.” p. 77
TRUTH # 1 You Are Not Alone
“...we have a whole population of godly wives and homeschooling moms who smile and laugh on the outside, but inside they’re walking around under the heavy burden of loneliness and isolation caused by a cunningly told lie.
“...say it to yourself right now...I am not alone. All the feelings of inadequacy, isolation, and failure I feel, other moms feel as well. They may hide it, but there are days when they feel like tossing in the towel, loading up their kids on the school bus, and joining the circus just like I do.” p. 79
See Romans 7: 15-25

TRUTH #2 God Gave Your Children Exactly the Mother They Needed

“If God wanted someone better than you to be your children’s mother, He would have done that. If you want someone smarter to teach your children, you can find someone. There is always someone smarter than you. BUT if you want someone better to teach your children, you will find no one.” p. 81
“One sure-fire way to fan the flames of the lie that says, ‘You’re not doing a good job,’ is to compare your weaknesses to another mom’s strengths. You set yourself up for a world of disappointment. Instead, be confident that God knew what He was doing when he made you and that your weaknesses and strengths are exactly the ones He wanted you to have.

Psalm 139:13-18; 2 Cor. 12:9-10

TRUTH #3 Your Children Will Become Exactly What God Created Them To Be.

“The seed of the man is in the child.” Marcia Washburn

“Think of your children as seeds. They will grow up and mature to be exactly what God wants them to be. If your son was created to be an engineer, he will become and engineer. If your daughter was created to be an organizer, she will grow up to be that.
“Your children will become exactly what God has created them to be, NOT because of your efforts, but IN SPITE of your efforts.
“This truth is so important to get because although you may be frustrating yourself...you’re probably also frustrating your see. Your seed may not verbalize this, but inside they begin to think, ‘Mom would like me better if I was more like a sunflower.” p. 88-89
“You are not responsible to make your child something they are not. You are only responsible to give them the tools to do what they were created to do, sharpening where you can, loving them unconditionally, and leaving a godly (REAL) example for them to follow.” p. 90

(see Psalm 78 for a great study on the role and affect of parents upon later generations)

Prayer:
“Dear God,
Please help me to love my children today...not for what they might become tomorrow or in the future. Help me to like them even if they never master a certain skill that I want them to master. Let me love them unconditionally, never withholding my love or approval from them based on their performance. Let me see the good in them and make me blind to their shortcomings. Forgive me because I know that I have been forgiven so much and yet I hold my children’s failures against them. Amen. “ p. 91


TRUTH #4 You Can’t Do It All

“Don’t set unrealistic expectations for your, your children, and those around you. Since you can’t realistically do it all, you need to determine what you can do and then be secure in that.
“Sit down with your husband to determine what’s important and what isn’t. Work on the important stuff and let the unimportant get squeezed out.”

Make lists of Essentials and Non-Essentials (see p. 96-97)

“I am NOT saying that...non-essentials are bad or that you shouldn’t include them in your home. I am saying that in a world of limited time, you have to pick and choose what you can and cannot do.” p. 98

*Different seasons produce different needs and priorities.

TRUTH #5 Those Perfect Homeschooling Families Are Not Real

“Believing the lie that their family is perfect or better than yours will cause you to go bonkers. It will rot your heart from the inside out and cause you to do things that will damage your relationship with your husband and your children.” p. 106

Gal. 5:5-7

TRUTH #6 You’re Doing a Great Job!
Read p. 106
1 Cor 9:23-27

Part 5: Outside Influences
List on p. 111
“Whatever it is that reinforces the lies, cut it out. Take no prisoners. No mercy. You can do it. And when you do, you will re-experience the joy of homeschooling and of being a mom and a wife. That’s what lie-busting truth leaves in its wake -- joy, freedom, and happiness.” p.113

Assignment this month:
1. Meet with your husband to discuss any issues the Lord has been working on in your heart during this study. Ask him for insights on how you can be more Real and in what ways you need to allow Truth to guide you.

2. Find a Real Partner by next month’s meeting. Try to meet /talk at least once (use the list provided in the notes if it’s helpful).

3. Begin praying for yourself, your children, your home, and your Real partner on a daily basis.

Prayer Requests:

Truth For Lies Chapter 3 Part 1

Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson

Chapter 3 - Part 1

February 3, 2012

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” James 5:16

How do we rightly deal with the lies we believe?

“I hesitate to use the words ‘things you can do...’ because none of the ideas we are going to talk about have to do with ‘more doing.’
“All the things you can do take place in your head and heart. It’s about what you believe about yourself, God, your children, and others.
“...think and do things that will feel uncomfortable and will go against your natural tendencies...and that’s good, because your natural tendencies are to believe THE LIES.” p. 52

1. Be Real

“We Christian homeschoolers don’t like to be REAL. In fact, we are encouraged not to be real or are criticized when we are. So we do the only reasonable thing we can do--hide. Actually, we’ve been hiders since the very beginning of time.” p. 53

Genesis 2-4 Adam and Eve:
1. “They were naked and not ashamed...” Gen 2:25
2. Something happened to change all of that: They sinned.
3. What was the first thing they did after they sinned? They hid. Gen. 3:6-11
4. Why did they do that? “I would say that the root of their fear was this: ‘If God knows what we are really like, maybe He won’t like us anymore.” p. 53-54

But... “God knew what they were really like before they ate the fruit and after they ate the fruit, and He loved them just the same.”

Romans 5:6-10

Yet, we continue to struggle...
“Ever since that day, people have been hiding for the very same reason. If God and others know what I am really like, maybe they won’t like me anymore.
“Homeschooling moms look at them (images of perfect homeschooling families) and then look at their own families and think, I can’t let them see the real us. They’d be shocked because all good homeschooling families look like them...we’re the only dysfunctional homeschooling family on the planet.” p. 54-55

So we hide...
“...until we have a whole homeschooling population of hiders wearing masks of deception like actors on a stage.” p. 55

The Bi-Product of Hiding:
“It’s the terrible realization that you have to keep playing the game, which leaves you feeling alone and isolated, wishing so bad that someone would find you out but at the same time being scared to death that someone will.
“You feel like you can’t go on pretending to have it all together another minute, but you’re so also so afraid to stop playing the game.” p. 56

The Bi-Product of Being REAL:
“...freedom and healing.
“One of the greatest benefits of being REAL is people can pray for you and healing takes place.”
“No one prays because no one knows what to pray for...because most homeschooling moms are not REAL.” p. 57-58

James 5:16 - “The promise along with confessing is healing!!!”
Gal. 5:1
John 8:31-36

2. Be a REAL Listener
“Not only do you need to BE REAL, you also need to ALLOW OTHERS to BE REAL with you.” p. 58
“That kind of understanding opens the doorway to freedom, sharing, and deeper relationships. p. 59“
“Did you know that if you are a capable and diligent home educator, YOU could be a source of discouragement to others and at the same time cause others NOT to be REAL? You may share your ideas and gifts, thinking you are offering help but it only serves to reinforce the lie that someone else might believe.” p. 59-60

So, how then, can we help?
Don’t:
> feel the need to jump in and offer solutions
> judge others’ homeschooling methods or styles
> allow yourself to smugly think more of yourself and your choices

Do:
> empathize with others
> share some of the struggles you’ve faced in your homeschooling journey
> offer to pray for a friend and her homeschool
> ask her to pray for yours

1 Peter 4:8
Gal. 6:1-4
Rom. 12:9-16; 14:13; 15:1-7;
Eph. 4:14-16; 25; 32
Phil. 2:1-4
*Col. 3:13-17
Heb. 10:24-25

Discussion:
Who is the REALEST person you know?
What makes them so REAL?
Discuss the difference between being REAL and condoning sin.
In what area is it the hardest for you to be REAL?
Why do you think that is?
What do you normally ‘hide’ behind?
Do you think others feel like they can be REAL with you? Why or Why not?
How can someone pray for you in the are of REALness?

Be Like Christ

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.  Do all things without grumbling or disputing; o that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,  holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain. But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all. You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me.  

Philippians 2:1-18

I believe I could ready this every hour and never tire of the counsel, conviction, and courage it gives me. My heart is aching today and Your word has brought healing.  May I keep it before me continually.