Burn Out

I'm a homeschooling mom. I have eight children. My oldest child is 16 years old. According to *my* definition of home education, I've been at this homeschooling business for, oh...sixteen years now.

For some reason, I was asked to speak on avoiding homeschool burn-out. I've decided it was because the Lord had some things for me to learn in this because I certainly have struggled this whole month to have anything clever to share. Let's just all agree from this point on that I don't have this all figured out and anything we get out of this is completely by the grace of a great, mighty, and gracious God that we are privileged to know and serve.

The term "burn-out" is catchy. I hear it a lot in different circles and especially among homeschooling families. When someone uses the term they often conjur up funny images of mothers with hair gone wild, books scattered about, babies screaming, children running amuck, and pot of something boiling over. There is a look of desperation in her eyes as she has that "he better be home in five minutes or I go into full-blown melt-down" aroma steaming from her ears, right?

Thing is, we can giggle at the images posted on a newsfeed but the reality of burn-out isn't funny. When you're that mom gasping for air you need a lot more than a joke to pull you from the fray. But, what is it you need? How did you get here in the first place? Why didn't you see this coming? What is the cause of this and how do I make it stop? Those are the questions that are so heavy you can barely lift your head to ask them.

If I ask this group of ladies what they do to avoid burn-out, I'd get a list of helpful and similar asnwers. I've asked groups of ladies similar to this one. Here are some things they suggested:

1. Staying connected in the homeschool community on a regular basis. That might look like a weekly park playdate for some groups, a homeschool mom's support group, a book club that is reading a homeschool-relevant book (Sally Clarkson type books or perhaps a Charlotte Mason study group), etc.

2. Finding a curriculum that WORKS for your family.

3. Take your home under control. The added stress of a chaotic household, dissheveled surroundings, lost items, too much clutter and junk only serve to add an extra burden to what is already an intensive job! If you need help getting it under control, seek out help! Even professional help. Homeschool moms need their homes to work for them and not against them. If your professional office looked like your home, would you be able to function at your highest level? As a homeschool mom, your home IS your office!

4. Do not be afraid to say "no". There are many good things and opportunities out there, but keep discernment to what the BEST and most beneficial things are. We do want to keep our kids connected, but be sure you aren't in overkill mode. Homeschool families and especially large homeschool families have different benefits, different challenges, and different needs than your average "one boy, one girl, public school" American family does. You can't compare yourself against other families who seem to have it all nailed down, especially when they do not have the same logistics as your family does.

Quality friends .. I avoid burn out with good friends to pray for me and encourage me along the way.

Four day school weeks. Having a day off a week helps me plow through and know the house will be caught up on the fifth day. It also leaves room for feild trips and coop.

Breaks, especially a long Christmas one. Makes it seem like a new year come January.

Workbinders. I keep all the weeks worth of worksheets and handouts in a workbinder for each kid and I have one with teachers grids for each kid and our logs. It helps to have a visual of what needs to be accomplished.

A trash can, sometimes u just need to scrap something on the plan.

A good plan.. I like to be prepared as much in advance as possible. Keeps me from planning burn out.

Always keep the Big picture in mind. When you are in seasons of your life that are very demanding and you need to peg back a little keep the BIG picture in mind of what you are doing in the Lord's strength- this keeps you on track and keeps perspective.

Do a little each day- on days that you are feeling low and drained even just doing a little work with the dc keeps you on track and prevents the guilty feelings, " Oh, I have not done any 'school' today"

Committ every year and every day to the Lord. Remember He is our Master- not the curriculum, not the dc, not the Home school groups etc but the Lord.We are to serve Him first.

For ME, just scrapping the schedule some days and watching a movie together or just playing or whatever REALLY helps me...IF I give myself permission to not stress that we are "getting behind"....

Getting together with homeschooling moms is REALLY helpful to me, but I don't get to much.
I think the number one thing that helps me when I'm feeling burnt out is to cut myself some slack and take a day off! Don't be so legalistic to my school schedule that if makes me feel confined.

Burn-out for me is when the schedule is so tight, that I can only do urgent basics (barely), and I have no time to catch-up on very essential but non-urgent activities (like time with God, time with dh, etc.). And it's especially hard when I'm doing this on consistently not-enough sleep! It seems that each morning loses it's joy, because it's just waking up to a mad rush again, only to in the end get further behind than when the day began.

To avoid burn-out, I have to re-evaluate priorities and my motives for things in our schedule. I'm and sooooo glad that God is gracious, merciful, and wanting to lead us personally!! I need his direction and help!! And my dh is helpful in helping me know what needs to stay in the schedule and what can go.

I find the more my attitude is that I need a break from my dc, the more I burn out and dislike my "job." Also building my relationship with God.

As a mom with a majority of dc who have some learning challenges, I've really had to step back and tell myself OVER and OVER that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I also have to remind myself not to compare my dyslexic children to my dd who reads with ease... I mean, we shouldn't compare... All dc are unique in their gifts and struggles, but that particular comparison is very stark for me because it's in my face on a daily basis.

Burn-out creeps in bad when...
1) I feel like I'm spinning my wheels as fast as I can.
2) I don't feel like I'm gaining traction forward - only falling further behind daily.
3) I see other kids from great families who ps doing better than my dc.
4) I have important people in my life encouraging me to ps.
5) I ponder all the advantages my kids are missing out on by being hsed. (Somehow in these moments I forget all the advantages of hsing, lol.)
It's then that I feel like, "What's the use! Why am I doing this?" It's so important to know the WHY of why we're homeschooling!

Ladies, while these are real and valuable experiences that are being shared, we sound like a taped recording of every homeschool conference speaker, author, and blogger we've ever read, don't we? Aren't we spitting out the phrases and buzz words of our own little culture we've created that are meant to encourage and spur us on to greatness only to leave us feeling more confused and distracted as we bounce from one striving to the next?

More planning, trash the planning.

 More time with friends, more time alone.

Just do it, just stop doing it.

More structure, more fun.

It's a game of us reaching for any and every solution when, really, we haven't clearly identified the problem we are facing. What IS burn-out? How do we define it?

A simple dictionary search will give us this:

— vb 1. to become or cause to become worn out or inoperative as a result of heat or friction: the clutch burnt out 2. ( intr ) (of a rocket, jet engine, etc) to cease functioning as a result of exhaustion of the fuel supply 3. ( tr; usually passive ) to destroy by fire 4. to become or cause to become exhausted through overwork or dissipation — n 5. the failure of a mechanical device from excessive heating 6. a total loss of energy and interest and an inability to function effectively, experienced as a result of excessive demands upon one's resources or chronic overwork

Also, burn oneself out . Make or become exhausted or disaffected, especially with one's work or schooling. For example, Many young lawyers burn themselves out after a few years of 70-hour weeks . This metaphoric term alludes to a fire going out for lack of new fuel. Robert Southey used it in an 1816 essay: "The spirit of Jacobinism was burnt out in France." [1970s] - dictionary.com

Notice this word is a metaphoric term. It derives from the science of rocketry. And, just like rockets need fuel to burn, so we need fuel to propel us each day. When a rocket exhausts it's fuel, it suffers a burn-out. When a mechanical device fails to work after being exposed to excessive heat, it burns out. You know where I'm going with this, right? We've got two things happening here in our lives as we think of this idea of burn-out. We are exhausting our fuel supply and/or we are working under such heated conditions, we simply fail to function.

So, which is it? I contend that it's both. I see, from my own life, that when my fuel supply reaches its end, instead of doing what I should to refuel (or doing what I should have done to keep my fuel supply steady in the first place), I begin to spin my wheels faster with the tiniest bit of fuel that is left in the hopes that this last-ditch sprinting will somehow hurl me past the finish line. Thing is, that finish line is way further out than I ever remember.

What I am learning is that burn-out is directly linked to my fuel supply.

What am I fueled by on this homeschooling journey? For that matter, what fuels me for motherhood at all? That's the most crucial question. I can list many different way to help me FEEL better when I am out of fuel. I can think of ways to recharge my battery, so to speak. But, without the proper fuel, I will fail to function the way God has designed.

What is my fuel and how do I burn it up so easily? Well, as rocket fuel is to rockets, so the word of God is to my soul. It is through His word and the prayer and communion with Him in it that I am nourished each day for the life He has chosen for me.

Did you notice in the dictionary definition the term burn one's self out? More often than not, we are doing this to ourselves.

A quote from author, Elizabeth Foss, "Sometimes homeschooling mothers give and give and give and then they crash and burn. They look up and say, 'I'm serving, I'm giving, I'm loving...I'm utterly depleted.' Why? Because we are not called to love from the depths of our being. We are called to love as He loved. We fill ourselves with Him, first, and then that love overflows. We know that He is God and that He loves us, infinitely."

He is our fuel. He is that which we are to be pouring out into the lives of those around us.

What is the goal of our parenting? Is it perfection? Is it successful children? Martha Peace and Stuart Scott in their book, The Faithful Parent challenge us, "The goal for the Christian parent is to be faithful to God's word by his grace and for his glory. You see, in Christ we have the great hope that we can be faithful whether our children are faithful or not."

Isn't homeschooling simply a component of parenting? And, as the quote above is pointing out, isn't parenting, then, simply a component of our sanctification and service to our Lord? We are in a season of serving by educating these young people in our lives. This is how we uniquely live out our faith before Him today. Tomorrow, He will have another call upon our lives. Yet, the fuel for this life remains the same. And, if we burn out of that fuel, the result is the same. Exhaustion. Failure to funtion. Burn-out.

So, how do we avoid it? How do we keep from burning up that precious fuel we need to sustain these intense efforts of our daily lives? First, we see it, as we have just done. Next, confess our failings. Are there ways I have created burn out in my life?

Here's another thought from Elizabeth Foss,

"So, is it a sin to snap at your children all day long? How about only half the day long? Is it a sin to be unavailable to your husband? Is it a sin to find yourself, at the end of the day, surrounded by mountains of laundry and the remnants of an scarcely nutritious meal? Is it a sin to go about your daily round feeling as if you are always on the brink of tears, scarcely ever sharing a smile or an encouraging word? Well, yes, it is. None of those things are God's will for your family. And whatever circumstances of your life are causing you to behave that way need to be pruned. You're burned out and that is sad, scary, place to be. But you don't have to stay there. And God doesn't want you to be there."
I would add the question, is there something I have placed in my life that is robbing me of the time and place I need to replenish my fuel supply on a regular basis? That needs pruning too.

From there, repent and seek His counsel on how to move forward. As you look for solutions to the burn-out, remember that the primary goal is to be faithful to God and his word. That is our fuel, so our solutions to our burn-out needs to be that which allows us to feed on his truths, so that we would then have it to pour out to our families.

This will give you confidence as you go back over that list of 101 Grand Ways to Beat Burn-Out.

Will going out for coffee with my other homeschooling buddies *really* nourish my soul and help me feed on the Lord so that I am ready to flow His goodness upon my family the next day? Maybe. For some, that form of fellowship is a necessary component of a healthy walk with God. For others, or in some seasons, it's something we enjoy, but distracts us from a more primary source of feeding such as time alone in prayer and the word.

Rising earlier can be a wonderful way for some to truly connect with the Lord and find His truths for the day. But, for the mother of a newborn babe, those early morning hours may be all she has to sustain her physical body for the work ahead.

Seasons, temperments, family life, they all play a part in making some solutions relative and subjective. What doesn't change, however, is the need for TIME and PLACE to feed on the Lord.

This year, in our family, I discovered the idea of Sabbath Schooling. Our schedule is now set up for 6 weeks of formal schooling and a seventh week of rest. Where the new challenge now comes to me in this is making that week of rest truly nourishing to my soul. When I rest IN THE LORD, I will then go into the next session of schooling with my family refreshed and refueled so that I can share with them from the bounty I am receiving. Now, of course I can't do this only every 7 weeks. I'd shrivel up like a raisin, for sure. I'm a season where I need daily (sometimes hourly) refueling. But, when I purpose a break, I need to purpose that it feed me, not drain me. A break before the day begins, a break at the day's end, a day of rest at the end or beginning of each week, and a week of rest after a block of schooling, it all needs to have the purpose of feeding me on REAL food. That's where the conviction sets in while the Lord does his work. Will this book I sit to read, this movie I watch, this mindless hour on facebook, this phone call I make, will these fuel me for the work ahead? Hard questions and hard choices.

One final thought on burn-out set forth by Elizabeth Foss. As you are making choices to deal with what needs to go and what needs to stay so that you are being fed and fueled, be cautious of being duped. Those people that seem to stress us the most aren't always the real source of our struggle.

"As contrary as it seems at first, the trick to avoiding burnout-- for me-- is more time with my children. It's important that the time isn't all frantic, rushed time. It needs to be focused time, time spent without the distractions of adult conversations and responsibilities. Children are rarely the cause of my burnout; working them in around the adults in my life is the cause of my burnout.

And so, the "cure" or the prevention is to spend time with them, unencumbered by the demands of grownups. I cannot be tethered to the telephone or the computer. I need to look them in the eye when they are talking to me and I need to listen with my full attention. And when I do, I find my soul is readily healed by children."

This statement, "our soul is readily healed by the children," is true in the light that the daily discipleship we are called to undertake with our children is the work the Lord has given us to do. When we are lost in His work, our souls are nourished, fed, fueled, and healed from the burdens we have encumbered upon ourselves.

Some closing thoughts from a fellow mother in the trenches:

Burnout really is indicative that a change needs to happen, isn't it? Whether it's a change in perspective, a change in routine, a change in discipline tactics, etc....

Oooh! And if burnout is indicative of a necessary change, then a PLANNED change could very well be an effective preventative against burnout!

Allow the change to be that which causes you to thrive in your faithfulness to the Lord. Let this homeschooling and mothering journey be all that the Lord intends for it to be. The tool He has chosen for loving, refining, and drawing you closer to Him.

　

*Quotes from Elizabeth Foss taken from her blog, In the Heart of My Home, at elizabethfoss.com

Looking Back...Looking Ahead 2014

This past year was a life changing one, that's for sure! I didn't spend a lot of time here on this blog, since I decided to do the bulk of my journaling in my notebooks. I still enjoy that best, so I don't think I'll be here a whole lot in the coming year.

I have been challenged by some friends, though, to be thinking on resolutions for the coming year.  Honestly, I just don't really like to make those because I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. I do, however, have some things I know I am going to be working on in the coming year.  Mostly, though, I really love reflecting back on the year in this format.  It causes me to see what the Lord has done in my life and what threads He is continuing to weave for the future. So, here goes my time of reflection!

In the Year 2013.....

I rejoiced...

> When my husband started his own public accounting firm working from our home
> When my mother came to visit for 10 days!
> When my precious, oldest daughter hit that amazing milestone of Sweet Sixteen.
> When I completed a difficult yet profoundly life-changing 21 day Daniel Fast with my family
> When I watched my husband shrink away about 80 pounds worth of weight in less than 6 months!
>  When I said good bye to 50 pounds worth of weight in a little over 6 months and finding healing for my physical body and sinful habits regarding food.
>  When I watched our family work hard to split, load, stack several cords of wood provided to us by the Lord through his people.
>  When the Lord continued to provide for our needs through sending work, gifts from brothers and sisters in Christ, and the hard work of my husband's hands.
> When I watched my four oldest children perform on stage for the first time in The Scarlet Pimpernel.
> When I sent my oldest daughter off to her first day of work away from home.
> When I began making many new friends who have greatly supported me in my new journey of eating a plant-based diet.
> When we enjoyed a wonderful Christmas Eve with David's family.

I grieved....

> When I struggled for months with depression, blood sugar struggles, sleep deprivation, and a sense of hopelessness over my physical and mental health.
> When my husband and I struggled through the reality of dealing with his ADHD and learning how we both need to work well with the unique way the Lord has made him and me.
> When my husband was fired from the accounting firm he was working at this past spring.
> When we realized it was time to leave our long-distance church family in search of another local body to grow with.
> When we've had to make difficult choices and sacrifices to live within our means.
> When I went through a painful week of detox, realizing just how my sin had affected my physical, mental, and emotional life, including my poor family.

I learned...

> That I really was the source of most of my struggles. Sin has a deeper hold than I imagined.
> That my children are amazingly supportive and willing and able to change.
> That a plant-based lifestyle will bring healing AND a level of communion with the Lord I never could have known.  Only the Lord could have convinced me of that truth.
> That trying new things, even if just for a short time, can literally change your life.
> That the Lord speaks through His word, as He promises.
> That my husband is an amazing man of strength and determination. I can, should, and do trust him.
> That my husband is incredibly handsome as a skinny guy!!
> That I really DO like vegetables! Even Brussels sprouts!

I pray...

> That I would find God's specific direction for our educational pursuits just as I have with our nutritional and health needs.
> That I would be the support and encouragement my husband needs during this difficult time of starting a new business.
> That the Lord would greatly bless the work of David's hands, causing him to be fruitful for His glory in all that he strives for.
> That we would have a profitable tax season so that David can continue as self-employed and our needs would be met outside of government resources.
> That we would find a church home where we can serve, grow, and see our children blossom under Truth.
> That I would grow closer with my children. My oldest three in particular, healing from hurts and tying strong heart strings.
> That I would be faithful to the Lord's priorities in my life and willing to set aside my own.
> That I would completely heal, physically, by making it to my goal weight through building a life filled with the best of the Lord's provision and actively using my body to serve Him well.
> That I would be a blessing and support to others looking for help in their journey to health and healing.
> That the Lord would make a way for my family and I to visit my friends and relatives in the Midwest this year.

I resolve... *big breath*

> To establish a strong morning routine that will start my day strong.
> To lose another 50 pounds by our wedding anniversary in June.
> To establish a daily routine that prioritizes activity and exercise for myself and our family.
> To set aside time to seek the Lord's direction for our children's education plans.
> To pray scripture daily for my children and husband.
> To make this the Year of the Boy.  I will change my tone, face, and actions toward my boys so that I can know them better and love them rightly. I will pursue them with grace, truth, and love.
> To revise and keep up my blogs as a way to help myself through creative outlet and others through the information I share.
> To make reading aloud the highest priority with my younger students.
> To develop and follow a discipleship plan for my older children.
> To establish and follow boundaries regarding my social time on the computer so that I am fully available to my family and their needs, setting the example they need of a godly wife and mother.
> To make writing real letters a weekly habit in my life.

Speak to the Heart

Psalm 36:1 "Transgression speaks to the ungodly within his heart, there is no fear of God before his eyes."

Romans 3:9-18 (paraphrased)
"What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we...are all under sin;
> none righteous
>none who understands
> all have turned aside, become useless
> none who does good
> we deceive with our tongues
> there is cursing and bitterness in our mouths
> our feet are swift to shed blood
> where we walk we create destruction and misery
> we do not know the path of peace
> we have no fear of God

Father, the magnitude of your redemption is beyond comprehension.  Look at us.  Look at who we are without You.

We don't even see how bad off we are until Your Spirit opens our eyes.

Oh, Lord, give me Your heart for those who need You. Forgive me for my anger and offense at people who are lost in their sin. Help me not forget I am still at war against my flesh.

Praise to You! You have won my final victory!

Help me as I work with my disciples.  Help me remember that Transgression is speaking to them in their very hearts! They do not have the fear of God before their eyes. 

Oh, Lord! Let them see it in me!

When they think of Mother, let it be with a full attachment to Your word and dependence and love for You.  Cause me to rightly speak Your Word into their hearts that it would rightly triumph over the Transgression speaking to their hearts.

Colossians 3:16  "Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God." 

How is this done?

Give me practical ways to speak Your Word into their hearts and put the Fear of the Lord before their eyes.

1. Read the Scriptures:  It is our daily bread, let me return to reading it before each meal.

2. Teach with the Scriptures: In choice of curriculae, books read, visuals, discussion.

3. Admonish with Scriptures: Let it be Your word that directs, not my own. Let Your words be heard, seen, and experienced in every room of our home. Use psalms, scripture hymns and songs to lead, build up, and direct my little, and not so little, followers.

5. Respond to Your word:  SING, pray, speak, act with gratitude to the truths found in Your Word.

Lord, let Your Word do it's powerful and holy work in the our lives each day.

If I have any friends out there reading along, please share ways you keep the Word of God alive and active in your homes each day.  Thanks!

Roll with it...

April 4, 2013
Journal Entry

"Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him, and He will do it." Psalm 37:5

Literal: Roll you way upon the Lord

Batach: have confidenc, be bold, be secure, feel safe,
Derek: road, journey, path, manner, direction, habit, course of life, distance
Asa: accomplish, do make, produce attend to, put in order, bring about

What will He do? What is it? What is my way?

Cross references:

"Cast your burdens upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Psalm 55:22

Rolling...Casting...this action of pushing the issues - the way- the burdens away from oneself. Not just handing them over, but doing so with great effort. Effort fitting to the weight of the burden.

Literal: Cast what He has given you

See the PROVIDENCE!! This burden, this way that I take, it is what He has given. The one who assigned the task designed the challenge. He is there and can be trusted to bring the solution about for us and through us. He has the answer.

 

 

"Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:3

Again: Roll
Ma'seh: deed, labor, business, pursuit, enterprise, undertaking, achievement, product
Machashabah: thoughts, devices, plans, purposes, inventions

This verse has the feel of industry. A sense of work, production, efficiency, ingenuity. A sense of moving forward and leading rather than simply following a path. It has a sense of pro-activeness to it in contrast to the weight of the burdens and struggle of the previous verses.

 

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

Again: Casting; throw upon; place upon
Merimna: care; anxiety
Melo: to care about

You do this, Lord, because you care.

You plan this journey, you give us these burdens, you design these cares so that we would exert ourselves in such a way that we must push them back upon you with an amount of effort that causes us to recognize your great providence, power, and love for us; along with our desperate need for it.

Whether I am pressing forward on a steep, uphill path; winding along on an unmarked road; struggling to breathe under the weight of my duties; formulating a creative plan with hope and wonder; or fretting over the fear of the unknowns, I can roll these onto you.

You choose this for me because you care. You promise I will not be shaken. I can cast these unto you with boldness. Walk in confidence, feeling safe and secure, because this is your doing and you will establish and complete your plan.

My way is Your Way.  Lovingly designed and chosen by you to draw me closer than I was.

Thank You.

Desires of Your Heart

April 3, 2013
Journal Entry:

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

So many times I've read this and felt a tinge of embarrassment. It somehow feels selfish, like I am to pursue you, Lord, to get what I want. I don't want to think of you as a big Santa in the Sky.

Cross references:

 

"You have given him his heart's desire and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah" Psalm 21:2

 

What did the king receive?

v. 1 strength, salvation

v. 3 the blessings of good things, a crown of gold (kingship/position)

v. 4 length of days

v. 5 splendor and majesty

 

What did the king request of the Lord?

v. 4  Life

 

Of all the things you gave the king, the one thing requested was Life. The desire of his heart was Life.

 

Lord, this is my heart's desire. I praise you for the overwhelming gift of salvation - a new life of walking with you and being welomed into your presence through the work of Jesus Christ.  Lord, would you work in my heart that this gift of life would be full and alive within me? Lord, the power of spring - the glory of the ground and trees bursting forth - that is the life I long for in my life - Energy. Joy. Power.

 

"He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. " Psalm 145:19

 

 - a sense of salvation in the context; being rescued and helped in a time of trouble; Safety was the heart's desire

 

"  '(keep asking), and it will be given to you; (keep seeking), and you will find; (keep knocking), and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! ' " Matthew 7:7-8; 11

 

PROMISE!! 

 

There is a command and there is a promise. There is love in the these gifts, based up on the requests of a child. A child asks for what they simply desire - maybe not even knowing if it is best for them.  You will give what is good. Yet, you instruct and command: Keep Asking...Keep Seeking...Keep Knocking. You want us to Keep Pursuing You.

 

I am not that kind of parent.

 

My brain is adverse to those who continuously persist with their requests. Change my brain! Teach me to pursue you hard and not give up. Teach me to delight in repeatedly coming to you...asking...seeking...knocking...

 

Let me never give up laying my heart's desires before you, that they would be continually shaped and fulfilled by your good measures.

"God's word must be the guide of your desires, and the ground of your expectations in prayer;" - Matthew Henry, The Secret of Communion with God

 



Living a Parallel Life

Mom’s Voice in the Wilderness

Hearts for Home

September 18, 2012

Read Matthew 3:1-12

John the Baptist and the homeschooling mom: Parallel Lives ;-)

John’s Occupation
>Preacher & Preparer v. 1
Mom’s Occupation
>Preacher & Preparer
2 Timothy 4:2-5 "I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.  As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry."

John’s Location
>The wilderness v. 3
Mom’s Location
>Socially, culturally, financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically isolated

John’s Attention to Self
>animal skins, locusts, wild food v.4
Mom’s Attention to Self
>varies, but often overlooked

John’s Audience
>Disciples God sent, pharisees, saducees
Mom’s Audience
>Disciples God has sent, onlookers, those sitting in judgement

John’s Message/Mom’s Message
>Repent! The Kingdom is at hand v. 2
>Repent! Bear fruit v. 8, 10
>Repent! You cannot rely on your heritage v. 9
>Repent! I am preparing you for work of Jesus in your life v. 11
>Repent! Christ will sift us to find His own v. 12

Journal entry:
John was working with his disciples-drawing them to repentance and, then, to a life lived out that showed that repentance. He cautioned them that they cannot say they are relying on their lineage for their security of salvation. He revealed that his efforts to bring them to repentance was only preparing them for Christ and His mighty work in their lives. He warned them that God is at work to gather and clear out His threshing floor.

Here am I. I am called to be as John the Baptist in my children’s lives. My role is to guide them to a life of repentance by helping them to recognize their own sin and the consequences of it. I am to lead them to repentance and the fruit that results. As I lead them in this, I am joining the Lord in His work to prepare them for the great work He will do within them. They cannot rely upon my faith or their father’s. They will be sifted as we have been. Lord, let them be found in You!

God’s Word: The Method of our Message of Repentance
(taken from Teach Them Diligently by Lou Priolo)

“Conviction flows out of teaching (the scriptures) because teaching (the scriptures) makes people aware of what God requires.” p. 27

“There are times when conviction and teaching go hand in hand. So we must not think of them as mutually exclusive. In order to produce conviction, one may have to teach new material or reteach in new ways what the child has heard but has not yet converted from theory to practice. The parent may need to further clarify biblical truth and how it applies to the particulars of his child’s situation. The Bible requires the parent to learn skills in order to bring about conviction.” p. 27

“Bringing conviction, therefore, is a part of the responsibility of the ministry of the Word. Since, as we have seen, one of the most important tasks as parents is to minister the Word to your children, using the Scriptures to bring about conviction in their hearts is a part of your responsibility. You must learn how to effectively use the Word to appeal to the conciences of your little lawbreakers. “ p. 30

“No process of change [or philosophy of parenting] that ignores a child’s relationship to God can succeed nomatter what gimmicks are used to get what the child wants. When a parent attempts to change a child’s behavior without first seeking change in his relationship with God, the result is merely outward, pharisaical behavior, just as displeasing to God as the original selfish behavior.” p. 31

*Note: Ultimately, it is God (not man) who is sovereign over the conviction process. We are dependent up on God the Spirit to use the Word and any other means He chooses to convict us (or others) of anything. p. 31

Let us then KNOW our message that we are called and commanded to preach. Let us pray for one another as well as spur one another on in His word so that we may be found faithful servants of the Lord Jesus in this coming year and for eternity. God has so chosen to place us in each others lives for such a time as this. May we learn together, pray together, weep together, rejoice together, and love together lives of such victory that the generations to follow will have strong and clear footsteps to follow.

James

"13Who among you is wise and understanding ? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."  James 3:13-18

Matthew Henry-
 And then, lastly, true wisdom will go on to sow the fruits of righteousness in peace, and thus, if it may be, to make peace in the world, v. 18. And that which is sown in peace will produce a harvest of joys. Let others reap the fruits of contentions, and all the advantages they can propose to themselves by them; but let us go on peaceably to sow the seeds of righteousness, and we may depend upon it our labour will not be lost. For light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart; and the work of righteousness shall be peace, and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.